Thanksgiving is here. This is a lonely time of the year. From missing loved ones who have passed, to failed plans, to even having no plans at all, from here on out it’s especially important to check in on friends and family. For Thanksgiving it can be very triggering for some who are alone. By alone that could mean without companionship, newly divorced or that could mean simply no family or friends to spend it with.
Thanksgiving and Holiday Stress
Holidays bring out the best and the worse in feelings. Those feelings surrounding the holidays really can feel overwhelming. Some people tend to be short, angry, or even depressed. Also understand that simply telling someone that they SHOULD get pass how they feel, is insensitive. Grant it feeling alone doesn’t mean that someone can be mean to others but that doesn’t dispute that an outside person can dictate how someone should feel. We have to stop invalidating people’s feelings. Alone or feeling as if you’re alone hurts.
You Have Me…..
I love when I see people reach out to others to let them know that they are there for others. That’s a beautiful thing! We need more people speaking that to others. However keep in mind that may not be enough. That might not make the one who has deep rooted pain overcome. I find it interesting the amount of folks super offended by not being received by the ones who are in hurt or pain. Be there for someone and don’t do it to gain a response. Do it because you are sincere. Eventually the person possibly could be receptive.
It’s never the same
Some people can’t get over that the holidays have changed. Certain smells of the holiday or lack thereof can trigger deep feelings! If you miss your mom for example a favorite meal duplicated by someone else can be hard to deal with. It triggers the loss of not having her there to make it for you. Holidays may never be the same. It won’t feel the same. It won’t taste the same. The holidays could be forever changed.
Not wanting to Participate this Thanksgiving
It’s perfectly okay to decide that due to the lack of immense joyful feelings, you may want to sit out this Thanksgiving. Some people change how they celebrate or if they celebrate at all. I know some who don’t cook. They do to the movies or purposely eat non traditional food to have it feel differently for them. That’s perfectly okay.
The year we loss my mother in law; we went to dinner with family but it was after we had our own dinner for breakfast, put our tree up, and went to the movies! We changed traditions! Should you take food over to someone who may not want to participate? I would say ask. Ask if that would be okay. Also not only ask don’t stay too long. If you get the green light to bring food don’t turn it into a stay over and chat moment. Do a quick drop off.
Be a Friend this Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving should be whatever you make it. For those who are feeling lonely one of the things that bothers them is not having the traditional family to spend it with. If you are alone but aren’t open to new environments I would open up your horizon. You might find a new joy to hanging out with friends. Again it’s not that you have to but you could find being open to a new way of seeing how holidays can be is key. One thing I love about friends which is different from family is that you get a choice. You have a choice in who you make friends with! Friendsgiving is not a new term. It’s how some replace the traditional ideals of the day.
I wish no one to spend the day alone. Eating alone is good when you desire it but when you want companionship or family around and can’t or don’t it’s heartbreaking. I would hope that you have someone you can connect with. I hope you can find ways to turn the day around or if you want that quiet that the day is all that you wish it to be. Nothing is worse than being in this world and feeling completely alone. I send peace ahead of this super social season!!!!
