We salute all moms who do their best to be supportive of their children. In addition, this also includes the Mother figures too. Being a mom is everyday, all day, and all year job. It doesn’t come with time off and even when your children are “grown” there won’t be a moment they aren’t on your mind. So let’s honor her.
The Art of Giving the Mother of your life
It’s going to depend on the level of relationship that you have with your mom. If you aren’t as close you might just do a card or nothing at all. These strained relationships do exist. When gifting anyone consideration is key. Moms love intention. Gifts that come from the heart and mixed with thought. This is why there are some moms who still have their child’s artwork over the years. It pulls on the heartstrings.
So this year add a little thought into it. Before we get into gifts let’s talk about the levels of pain that occurs on Mother’s Day.
Absent Mothers-No Contact Relationship
I said from the beginning we honor the moms who did their best. We do have to mention that there are some moms who are absent or that you have placed a boundary with. If you don’t have that level of relationship with your mom count your blessings. However the best thing to do instead of tell someone else what their relationship should look like is to simply pray for them.
If you are no contact especially with your mom it’s always a thousand and one people telling you how wrong you are. The grace given to no account moms is greater than what it given to absentee dads. There is a reason that a child who may be an adult would go no contact. The adult who sets the boundary is in pain. They grieve as if their mother wasn’t here even if they have knowledge of where they are. I want you to know that you are seen and loved.
Mothers who have transitioned
On Mother’s Day the grieve can be unbearable. My husband lost his mom years ago. It is still a hard day for him and many others. We go to her gravesite and the flood of people can feel overwhelming. So many people who are in a club no one wanted membership too. Besides Christmas, Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that brings about the most turmoil and messes with people’s mental health the most.
The pain of losing a mother as my husband describes it is feeling like your lost with no direction at all times. I saw a change in him and he’s never been the same since she left. If you have someone who has lost their mother here are a few tips:
- Don’t say time heals all wounds-time is like a vapor of smoke when you lose a loved one
- Be gentle with them especially on Mother’s Day-take their cues on what to do
- If they need some time to gather their thoughts-let them
- Do acknowledge their pain. How you acknowledge will depend on them. I usually ask my husband what he needs from me and honor his healing by doing only what he asks
Those without children or loss of a child
This is a super sensitive subject. Never ask a woman when she is planning on starting a family. You don’t know if she desires it, has tried but it hasn’t happened yet, or she has lost a child and has never said anything. Leave women and their uterus alone even if you have a uterus. I say that because it’s mostly women who say the most insensitive things to other women. You are a woman regardless of brining a child into the world.
Losing a child is one of the hardest things to ever happen. The life you envisioned for your child being now gone is a pain that most wouldn’t want to wish on their worse enemy. Make sure you take the cue from the grieving mother on how to honor the day or space. I become angry when I hear a story of abuse to a child and there are so many people who desire to be a mom and can’t. Choose to be understanding of someone during this time. Also know that for some that don’t desire kids they focus on travel, being a great aunt, godparent, or supporting others who do have them.
What do moms want?
This is the question that is always asked. Think about the type of mom you have. If your mom is more laid back give her the gift of not having to do anything for anyone else. There are moms who do it all and simply want a day off from others but a day on for her. Make it happen. Send her to the hotel for a weekend or overnight. Let her order room service, take a bath, long shower, sleep, read a book, watch television without sharing and more.
If mom is more frugal but she’s been eyeing something she wouldn’t get herself-get it for her. There are some moms who were like me after seeing their bodies change they find it hard to focus on them. Send this mom shopping. Let her know how much you appreciate her. Spoil her with self care in the form of rejuvenation. Think spa day, mani and pedicures, massages, facials, and more.
Give mom/mother the day she wants
When I think about Mother’s Day I think of having the day I deserve. I like to start off with supporting my husband as we visit the gravesite. When we return I like to get my already packed bag and head out. Last year I spent my afternoon and part of my evening outside eating good food, enjoying a few drinks, lounging in the sun, and it was a blissful day. Let her be your guide. Moms, stop telling your family you don’t want anything when you do. All moms do this selfless thing but let your family honor you.
I broke down a few things that mom would want on my Amazon store. There are things for moms who want self care, tech savvy, and more.
Dining with mom in Philadelphia and Surrounding Area
Don’t simply take mom to any restaurant. Take her to one that she will love. Also make the reservation now. Every place will be booked if you don’t. So here were my go tos for Mother’s Day brunches or dinners.
- Positano Coast for brunch or dinner (American and other amazing dishes)
- Cafe Aldo Lamberti (Italian flare)
- Olde Bar (seafood and hearty dishes)
- Amada in center city or Radnor (Paella and other dishes)
- The Morris (American)
- The Mulberry (American)
- Takumi Bistro and Bar (think sushi and other options)
- Attico Rooftop (American)
- Rosalie in Wayne (Italian Soul food)
- Louie Louie (French inspired)
- City Cruises Philadelphia (Dining experiences
- Blue Sunday in Bensalem
Coldest Water for Mom
I’ve been using The Coldest Water cup for years. Before the crave of Stanley’s and their controversy, The Coldest Cup keeps your drinks super cold for hours. Now they have a cup for mom that you can have engraved just for the mom in your world. Think mom, new moms, and more. Use code Toitimeblog.
Experiences for Moms and Family
There are the moms who would rather spend a day with the kids and your kids could be young. I’m a mom of 3 and my youngest is 10. I’m definitely going to spend my evening with them. Here are my suggestions on where to take the whole family:
- Museum of Illusions-use code MOTHER20 to save 20%
- Philadelphia Zoo
- Insomnia Cookie or the Cookie Lab
- Adventure Aquarium
- Legoland
- Big Kahuna’s Indoor Water Park
- A long walk, park, ice-cream shop
Etsy for Mom
Moms like gifts that are curated for her. With Etsy you support small business owners while getting mom gifts she will love. As always I curated an Etsy gift shop for all kind of moms.
I will be updating more finds for moms so check back often until the big day, May 12th. Don’t forget to grab mom some flowers or a plant if she is a flower person.
