ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

I’ve seen several companies that are promoting the idea to end statements that a woman/girl is doing something like a girl.  Even if they are doing whatever they may be doing like a girl who a girl is strong.  We have had so many years of saying to women and girls alike that you have to be in the kitchen, married, pregnant, and not capable of facing the same challenges as men.  Let’s get something straight before I lose half of you is simply that a woman is a woman and a man is a man and that at the end of the day we all can be who we need to be. I get tired that there are certain rules for girls to be dainty and light just because we sit down on the toilet to pee.  Women can take on things that was once ONLY for the men and do it well. Now to my male readers that doesn’t take away from you as a man.  To be honest I get really agitated at men who think you are coming for their manhood by doing things like construction, football, etc.  We too can get in the action if we want and as you can see it by the millions of women who do it everyday-we are damn good at it.

 

I don’t let anyone come in our house and tell my daughters you hit, run, jump like a girl. They are simply doing what they do.  They are capable of achieving dreams that don’t always meet the status quo.  I am not forcing my girls to get aprons and learn how to cook while my son gets to run and jump and play with no cares.  Did boys graduate from high school and BAM they are married and have some woman catering to their every need. Most do not.  They are taught to hit things running with thoughts of provision and careers.  We then teach our girls how to take care of homes and careers are in the background.  Wait this is the most backward type of teaching.  I want my son to be able to take care of himself.  He should know how to be self-sufficient just like my girls.  How will he know what to look for if he can’t do it himself?  That’s right my husband and I are supposed to treat him like a little king but he won’t have to work for it. So while he can’t boil a pot of rice he then gets to talk like a jackass to the first female he encounters on a romantic level and put pressure on them to have it together.  Grant it a lot of that will be surrounded by what I teach him in general about how to treat others but you get my point.

We have got to give these boys and these girls the same life skills so they know how to be productive.  Do you know how many men do NOT know how to use simple tools.  I talked about this on one of my ask Toi a few weeks ago.  Should women be able to change a tire?Absolutely.  Does that mean they should be sitting in the car while their male passenger looks at them?  You know me so that’s an extra no. I know many of women who deal with this.  They pumping gas not because they are women hear me roar but because they are with men who don’t feel that they have to exert precious energy.  That’s a blog for another day.  I know no matter how many strides gender barriers shoot down there will be some who are just stuck in business as usual.  I get that but what I am suggesting is that we arm our kids especially with the skills to be productive citizens.  Isn’t that one of the purposes of parenting?  I want my daughters to be able to do certain things and not just because they are women.  I want the same but the flip for my son.  Just because my son or my daughters may attract quality doesn’t mean that they can’t have the same skills.  What happens if they are married or in relationships and the male or female gets sick or even unfortunately dies? Are they suppose to not be able to balance a checkbook, change the oil, cook for themselves?

Little free nugget: even if you are married you need to know EVERYTHING and how to do EVERYTHING that goes into your home.  That means just because one of you does it well, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know how to do.  Married folks are supposed to live in forever bliss.  We don’t ever expect people to pass. So many homes are faced with this and have no skills to get through especially women.  I know some women who don’t drive, don’t balance checkbooks, and are left suffering.  SO again, hear me when I say we have to empower each other to strive for better.

If you are a male and feel some sort of way because the female in your life wants to advance you need to do better.  It’s not about her leaving you BUT if she did maybe it had less to do with her new set of skills but your lack to be a supportive partner.  I will be blogging about partnerships very soon so be on the look out.  We need to all make sure that we are just all around solid individuals.  In this day and age knowledge and access to information is so on point no one should be lacking.  Where you lack is only showing your unwillingness to do.  Yes again I blogged about this last week but your want to is broke. Let’s spend less time worrying about if your son can make a cake cause that will inherently turn him gay and more concern with him being a solid individual.  News flash you know that last statement was in my sarcastic voice right?! Cool stay with me.  Let’s empower each other to go for their dreams instead of worrying about what others may need to fulfill them makes you feel inside.  That’s what we call a personal problem.

 

 

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