Not Feeling Your Best

In a world where we are all trying to live our best lives how do you do when you aren’t feeling you absolute best? This conversation is not only necessary but real. So many showcase the ups of life. The wedding but not when you are ready to sign the papers. The good kids but not the times your patience is thinner than a soft taco shell. In life there are moments when feeling your best will not always correlate into happy and up times.

Feeling Low Energy

When you aren’t your best and feel low, what are some basic things to manage? One, identify if this is a moment or if moments have been happening over a period of time. We can have a bad moment or day and it doesn’t mean anything. But if you are constantly stuck and feel stuck let’s have a broader conversation. When I was in my lowest moments I had to be real and honest. I didn’t know where to go to get help but I had to be honest that something was wrong. For me as a tool I went to therapy. It’s a great tool that I think all should try but it’s not the only tool. Let’s talk about therapy and what happens when you go.

Therapy and Feelings

One read, my article on what to expect during therapy. Then hear me clearly, therapy is work. I would leave sad, crying, or angry. It took me awhile to understand that therapy wasn’t going to make me instant happy. I wanted a quick fix. My rationale was it took so much to get to the appointment that surely I would be better right off the bat. I wasn’t. Therapy helps over time and it takes a few factors:

• Finding the right fit
• Committing to being consistent
• Doing the work that therapist would give
• Being aware of myself while going through the process

Before you do a deep dive into eliminating people or things from your life while in therapy, talk to your therapist about it. When you aren’t in the right mental spacing to see and hear things clearly your emotions may be having knee jerk responses. See the process all the way through.

Maintaining Life in a Dark Space

I would love to say that in a dark space you can simply do the basics but life doesn’t always afford it. You may have to go to work, take care of a family, and more. Do your best in these roles. Show up in the best ways that you can. For instance when I was in dark places, I could communicate that to my husband who like the partner he is stepped up in the places I couldn’t. If you are a single parent, think about having food, drinks, snacks, in the home that can help supply sustenance for your children that are nutritious and helpful. Ask for help from a trusted friend or family member.

Make sure you eat, hydrate, and take your medicines prescribed on time. Take a break on alcohol and drugs even those you use for recreation. This helps to eliminate the introduction of substance and increase the risk of substance abuse.

Movement and Feelings

There is nothing wrong with working out. Be careful when you substitute too much gym time with avoiding your feelings or home. Burning the midnight oil with work too can also be a distraction with your feelings. Overworking doesn’t guarantee things will automatically work out. It is quite the opposite. This is how working out and overworking can become its own drug. You want to find a safe space to deal with you and not a place to hide.

Expectations with Your Feelings

There are probably people in your life that will tell you to get over things. I used to hear the words “whatever” a lot so much that I had to admit it’s a trigger word for me. Whatever meant my feelings were being diminished. I wasn’t able to say what I needed to say without it having to be agreed upon as real. Now that I have been in therapy I know that the use of whatever is so that the other person can dismiss me to save the reality of the conversation. You are allowed to have down days. If you find days are turning into weeks and months-let’s find ways to deal. Could it be anxiety? Tiredness? I would do things like tap into self care, take some rest, find activities I loved, and if after that I was still struggling- I got help. It’s okay to not be okay. Everyday won’t be super jolly. However you are worthy of experiencing joy here on Earth.

So be gentle with yourself. I started a wellness journal where I did more than just write how my day was. I used it to express feelings. This way I could physically see where I was over time. I use Bando. They have an amazing journal that I love that helps me do just that. Get a wellness plan in place. Develop a schedule if you can to reach wellness goals. I will be doing a series on this the first week of September. So get ready. I want to show you through blogs, and visuals how to accomplish just that.

Also if this blogs finds you in a place where all is well-great. Do a mental wellness check regardless. Get used to doing so. Also share this article to others who may need it too.