ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Oh the world of social media has really given some of us a smoke screen of reality.Β  We see couples who may be celebrities or not and think I want to be like them when I grow up.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with aspiring for the positive of what you see as long as you keep it in perspective.Β  Like for instance my husband and I have a little pinky swear like hand gesture that we use often.Β  If someone saw us doing it they would think we were making promises to each other but we arent.Β  We use that to have a truth moment between us.Β 

I’ve gotten plenty of text messages and emails from others saying my husband and I look so perfect but we are far from it.Β  There was plenty of times in our young marriage that we have used the dreaded “D” word and I’m not talking in a sexual manner either. We even were close.Β  There was times when the fights never physical were always below the belt and hurtful.Β  So when you see a picture of a couple all lovey dovey you only see the good not the blood, sweat, and tears.Β  There was a moment when we were living with his mother and our relationship was about to shipwreck from the stress of it all.Β 

I’m not telling you this just so you can get a sneak peek into my personal life.Β  I’m telling you this so you can take the blinders off. A cute couple or good looking family have many break downs and hard times.Β  They are what makes a couple either be stronger or fall a part.

I’ve seen some of the cutest displays of affection on social media and some are the cutest but I know the real.Β  Make your relationship goals more about substance instead of just hand shakes and slaps on butts.Β  It’s definitely going to take more than that to make it past the cute phases of a relationship.

Relationship goals should be things like trust and transparency.Β  Did you know you can think you trust your mate but not be totally transparent?Β  Relationship goals should be making money together but also content eating rice alone should a drought come your way.Β  Relationship goals could be having to take a second job for a season to make sure the family unit is secure.Β 

Relationship goals should be staying together when literally everyone is against your unity and all you have is one another.Β  Those are the type of goals you can’t always capture on film.Β  So if you are single look and have it in your mind and heart this is where you are headed.Β  If you’re married or in a committed relationship tighten it up between you and your boo thing.Β 

Relationship goals, what you really got?Β  Make them about strength and unity.Β  God knows there are breakups all over the world.Β  We have to speak honestly about it.Β  Some couples fall apart simply because they don’t think it’s normal to have these down moments.Β  That’s exactly the time where people begin to look at the grass on the other side.Β  It’s true when you water your own it does wonders when in seasons of drought.Β  So get your own watering can and water your own garden.Β 

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