You were drawn to each other. You loved her personality and soon formed a friendship that you vowed would stand the test of time. What happens when your girlfriends go through various stages and it feels like you’re missing each other?
In this time when women are seemingly in competition with one another, having good friendships is key. Life happens and it doesn’t always happen for everyone at the same time. When you and your friends were all single and dating and going out, the fun is endless. Then all of a sudden someone in the group meets a man and then they are off building a future together. Soon they are engaged and setting a date. Soon after a family is the next logical step. Meanwhile you’re still single and your friend has less and less time.
For some it’s easy to just say okay and adjust yourself to the new life, but for others the change can be overwhelming. I remember when my friends were getting married and I was still single without a prospect in sight. Conversations began to be about color of dresses, dinner entrees and less and less about she and I. I was happy for my friend but I thought man she’s going to leave me behind.
Sometimes it’s just our selfishness that can temporarily take over. When I was single it obviously made sense that my now married friend couldn’t party or hang out as often. So why do we get bummed out? We’re human and we get comfortable. Anything that is about change isn’t always an easy pill to swallow. It can be hard for friendships to stay the same.
One of the things that make friendships last is learning how to adjust. If you’re friend has had a new baby, give her time to adjust and support her as much as you can. When she can’t make it out due to the demands of a new baby try and be understanding. Trust me she wants to get out and have some moments to herself.
Adapting to you and your friends’ needs will keep the love flowing. What happens when you’re friend finds out she has a life long illness? You be there and help where you can. Friendships based upon love and genuine care can survive the biggest bumps in the road, trust me I know.
Also to the friend who is going through the changes, keep your friend in mind as well. Be mindful that your friend loves your new baby but they don’t want to hear about his or her little quirks every single time you get together especially if they don’t have kids. Yes I know there’s a mom saying then they aren’t my friend. False. Folks without kids don’t need to hear hours of mom talk. Talk about you and how you truly feel and are doing.
Just like if you’re girlfriend is single she doesn’t want to hear hours of you complaining about your husband and she waiting for one to drop out the sky. That’s real. Don’t get mad when you don’t have the same exact things in common. What’s unique is the bond that you have and the ability to be in a group of friends and bring new things to the table. Would you go to a buffet of only eggs? No most likely not, you want variety but you don’t want to be forced to select certain foods.
Girlfriend time is going to be necrssary. Carve out some time as often as you can. Having this time with friends will help you as a mom and if you’re married a wife, or in the middle of a divorce as well. It’s all about maintaining friendships and being open to changing what it looks like but not changing the core of who you are.
It’s almost the weekend, have you called and connected to your girlfriend yet?
