When I was growing up I used to make comments about how much someone spent for the holidays. If I thought it was too much it was a problem. If I thought it was too little it was an issue. Since having children of my own I have come to this resolution-spend what you want as long as the days after the holidays your bills are still paid, money is in the bank, and you aren’t borrowing. Even if you are it’s your choice to do so. This whole debacle on who sets the limits on the holidays is getting out of hand.
Limits who Sets Them?
People are spending hours online with strangers arguing on who sets the limits. You do realize the one who sets the limits is the one who makes the coin to contribute. I remember having an event a few years and just merely letting the other party know that at the end of the day I make the rules who plans to spend the coin. It’s simple.
Spend it all?
Does that mean that I need to spend it all up? No I don’t as a rule of thumb. I budget and only spend what is necessary to get the job done. I know that my kids will get from others so I don’t go trying to overspend. For me we get them 5 gifts a piece and stocking stuffers because when they are home for Christmas break we make sure they do fun activities instead of being on tablets or watching television the whole time. It’s a plan that has worked for us. Sometimes in the earlier years we did a gift here or there more but the 5 work for us. As they get older the number will go down. Why? As they get older their items will cost more.
It’s the way it works. A doll in my house with the way I work coupons etc. I could spend at around 100 for each kid and come out balling on certain items. Overall, I might have spent like 40 for a toy that they really wanted. I really had to overthink spending on that. I have become more of a saver and the thrill of coming under my goal makes me happy. I spent 400 last year for 7 kids for toys including clothes. Those are the types of numbers I like to work with.
Humble kids Helps
My kids are humble and child-like. I could wrap up a coloring book and they would be happy. They have yet to smirk or give an attitude. We are blessed. Some kids ask for phones and laptops to where my oldest is still asking for doll and doll houses. She’s 10 by the way. I know she wants a phone because all of her friends have one but to be honest, she doesn’t need it right now. We will and soon pull that trigger as she becomes more involved in out of school and in school activities having communication with her will be vital. Our plan is to take that phone like we do her tablet.
Set the Controls on Spending
She can’t have it during the school week unless at an event, and she can’t have it in her room overnight while she sleeps even on the weekend. This way we control it as much as we can. We have asked her why she wants a phone and her answers having been convincing us that she wants it for the right reasons. We are teaching her to move in her way that makes sense for her not for those around her. So for now she wants to play on Snapchat she can use my phone. She can unlock it with her face since we look alike. She always asks for permission etc. I want to teach her how to use it and monitor social media appropriately.
Some might not agree with my hands on approach but I can only do what I feel is best and what I feel will have her in the less amount of danger. When she gets to the point that we are paying the bill and she’s still a kid we will be monitoring that phone like a hawk.
How much is too much?
How much a parent spends on their kids is up to them. If they spend a thousand or a dollar it’s up to them. I do not want to get into a debate about what is considered spoiling because we don’t know what the parents do to earn their living. If you have more to spend, spending 500 for each kid may not seem like a big issue compared to someone who all they have is 500 to spread. And yes I hear some saying I don’t care if I did have 500 to spend on each child I wouldn’t do it-it’s your choice as well.
Choices with Approvals
Choices come with no opinion stamp of approval necessary. Even if you take $500 and you look at what you can spend for a child, it isn’t that much money. An electronic takes up a third of that, a few outfits, some new shoes or sneakers and it’s not that hard to spend. I also do things like coupon during the year, taking the savings and using that towards the holidays. Some people do the same. Others shop all year long not just during the expensive holiday time and so even 10 or more gifts could have been extremely cheap.
Who footing the bill? Keeping Spending Down
My new mindset is as long as the parents who seem to spend more money on their kids aren’t asking me for loans or their lights etc. aren’t being shut off-more power to you. Life is hard enough than having to get others to agree with a decision that didn’t affect their pocketbook. I stand by those sentiments. We have no idea what people do to make things happen for their children. I am more interested in the parent who has the heart to purchase but can’t.
Hurting Feelings during the Holidays
Those are the ones my heart goes for because I know how much it would hurt me if I couldn’t get my kids anything at all. It’s one thing to blame materialistic parents and another thing not to recognize that for a parent no greater joy during the holidays is seeing children open gifts. Even if those gifts aren’t the most expensive the joy comes in the thought behind the gift giving. So to the parents who are doing their best, keep in mind that there are some less fortunate. Do things for others this season. I was blessed to help two families this season, not for clout or recognition but because I want others to experience the joy of seeing their kids smile on Christmas day.
If you agree with gift giving (as some do not) than make your budget what you see fit. Do what works for you without going into debt. Some we know will go into debt. They will forget what the season is all about. They will even in their own right overspend but you know what? It’s their choice to do so. So you won’t see me bash a parent for their choices. The debate stops at my bank account. If I am not financing it I have not right to make an opinion that merits much if I am not the one footing the bill.
