ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Oh October is here.   That means Fall is definitely here.   The one thing that the presence of Fall brings is the pressure of the holidays.

Anxiety is real. If you ever deal with it on a regular basis then you know how crippling it can be.   I saw a commercial for Christmas in September.  These companies ain’t loyal.   Everything is designed to suck your pockets quicker than a vacuum.   Even more than money being spent will be family and friends who will soon start those invites for potlucks and gatherings.
Just trying to keep the schedules up can be overwhelming.

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How does one simply survive?

Organize

First get a sense of the activities you plan on doing.   For instance I have some things I do with my family no matter what.   I make my schedule with that first before I allow what others are doing to affect me.   Even if you’re single set time aside for the non-negotiable things now.

Get your money focused.   When you have a family it goes without saying.   However singles or couples without kids have a few myth busters.   For one just because a person is single or without kids even if they are married, that’s not automatic for them having money dripping off of them.   Stop this false thinking.   Everyone has budgets for what they want.  If you’re a family or friend stop trying to hit people up for contributions based on what you think others have.  That was a free nugget you’re welcome.

Learn to say no.   You haven’t invented a time machine yet.   When you do call me.   You can’t be everywhere and go to everything.  Some things will require you to exercise your NO muscles.  Family and friends fall out quickly around the holiday time than any other time.  If you’re the one on the other side of NO just accept it.   We know your soiree will be the best ever but folks have lives and can’t go to your event.

Know your strengths

If you can’t cook this isn’t the time to experiment especially on key items.  You should have been practicing in the summer.  Don’t nobody have time for that.   Offer to cook what you know or sign up for the drinks, paper products or just show up and smile ministry.

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Budget

Yes back to the money.  I have 3 wonderful little people but I have yet to spend more than I set aside.  We use cash only and build a Christmas fund.  Yes to not charging or spending the rent on toys.   If you do charge just keep it in moderation. Remember the little people love opening gifts and it’s not about what they get.   So choose wisely.

Along with budgets for gifts, think wardrobe too.   New-years, Christmas dinners,  Balls,  etc will have you running to the store.   Re-shop your closet first.   Ladies, you know that dress you bought that’s to the back that could get its shine this year,  let that be your go to first.  Think also borrowing or swapping.  In college I did a lot of that and the same can be done now.   I have plenty of friends with great items I could borrow,  clean and give right back.

Holidays means food and food means an expense.  For your friends who just love your mac and cheese and you’re not gifting it to them it’s okay to ask them to supply the ingredients at the least.   Cheese let’s keep this real is climbing and as we get closer to certain holidays it goes up.   You can watch your funds by watching what leaves your bank in the form of providing food for events that you go to.

Squabbles

Again I say nothing says the holidays like aunt so and so bringing up some old drama.   Folks have no chill or no filter. If your family has alcohol well then you know anything is liable to happen.  So be prepared.  Have an action plan in place. If you’re hosting an event the action plan should be to the door but that’s me.   I’ll usher someone to the door better than Sunday morning at church.

Couples get into it too.  Stress, being overworked to have holiday fun,  and mixing families will bring out the worst.  I honestly would start a fight so I could hear the heavenly words of “fine don’t go. ”  I’ve grown since then but trust me staying away used to be like a vacation.   I don’t even have issues with my husband’s family I just don’t like crowds.   So keep it tight.  Diffuse an argument quick.  Trust me nothing is worst than having to sit in the presence of your in-laws while you secretly hoping your boo trips for pissing you off earlier. I’m just being honest.

Have Fun

When I was a little girl I always had a sense of quirkiness.  Around holidays I would just amp it up.  If you follow me on Facebook you already know I love celebrating everything.  So it’s no wonder that my children love them too.   Now I have real life cute minions of happiness to spread it to.

Yes having fun.   I’m in love with holidays.  Not for the food, gifts, time etc., but because it’s just something fun to do.   I love laughing and watching people enjoy themselves.  So while stress from a burnt turkey may come up laugh and sip on that egg nog and keep it moving.

Don’t let the holiday stress over take you this year.   Conquer it with a deep breath, a smile, a glass of wine, and just let it happen.

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