ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So I’m not sure if you aware but April is Stress Awareness Month.  Stress can take people out more than anything else you could possibly face.  Stress comes in many forms and depending on how well you deal with it determines the levels you must go about defeating it in your life. Using music can help!

Anxiety

Often times stress comes when you are dealing with life and anxiety.  I really do believe that we ALL deal with anxiety to some degree.  Some deal with it more and therefore may do things like take medication, see counselors, or have found stress relievers that work for them.

One Size Doesn’t Fit All

One size doesn’t fit all.  Even if you and someone you know have similar situations that you may be going through, it may take different remedies to get through the stress for each person.  You have got to figure out what you need and do it.  Now the flip to that is when you leave stress unchecked it can fester in ways such as bad health, tear relationships apart, or even worst case scenario cause death.

Conventional vs. Non-Conventional Ways to Deal with Stress

This week we will be finding ways of dealing with stress.  We will look into some of the conventional ways as well as some non-conventional ways of handling stress.  I will also share some of my stressful moments and what I do t get through them as well.  The first one we will explore is music.  I am the daughter of a choir director and singer.  So one of my early influences is music.  Now contrary to popular beliefs my mom has been in the choir in some form all of her life.  My grandma literally went into labor with her on the choir stand.  With the music influence of my  mom and my dad’s instrumental influences there’s no way I wouldn’t use music to my advantage.

Music Therapy

I recognize that music can do great things such as bring calm and healing.  It can also drive you to stress more or to spaze out on someone depending on the song.  For instance if I’m mad I tend to listen to southern rap.  That’s a little known fact that I really do love it and I have my favorite rappers such as David Banner.  People who know me well are well aware and those who don’t often give me a side eye like really but its true.  If I get really angry and I listen to David Banner I really could be on the verge of going off.

My husband jokes that often times when he gets into the car behind me and I have had that on he just asks if all is well because he knows where I am in that moment.  That doesn’t mean that I can’t listen to it at other times and be okay but most often times I’m not.  Someone has pissed me off and I need to vent it out.

Music Matters

Now I do NOT listen to David Banner or any other southern rapper in the car with my kids. I have always had that as my rule.  I recognize now that there are some moments that I will follow-up. Especially after I have gotten my anger and aggression out with jazz or gospel to get my mind where I need to be. I trust and believe I can’t be ready to go off with Spongebob’s greatest hits in the background.

I have now not had to go to my David Banner archives in quite some time but every now and again I have to turn him up or warn people it will be a DB moment if they try me. The reason is if you listen to rap in general it’s not really telling me to be a good girl and especially not in these days.  Even conscience rap is pushing a message of action.

Calming Effect

Music can either calm someone down and if you are up on music therapy you would know that music is often times used in instances of bipolar and other types of depressions. Music can really be a healing way.  What I do now is I try to limit my need for my love relationship with DB at least in my ear phones.  If I do it’s really because I enjoy the genre. It took me a moment to get there.  Now for those thinking this is so wrong why would she encourage it I have a question.  Would you rather for someone to listen to the music get it out of their system or the minute something doesn’t go right they react?

David Banner

Let people live. Me and DB have settled quite a few potential fights in my car. DB and I have settled quite a few pop ups in my house.  I had enough sense to keep it contained.  Now I get it this would be a great argument for the people who want to eliminate the rap culture but argue that on your own time.  There are plenty of people who need music to deal with what they are facing.

Music is therapy.  Break up with someone and see what sad music you play to get through it.  Why do you think that is?  Music says the words you needed to get out but didn’t have the talent or ability to do on your own.  You don’t even have to be a good singer or rapper or pianist to be able to benefit from music therapy.  All it takes is knowing and being honest for where you are, putting the music on and then eventually turning the headphones off and deal with it.  Stress and music are like bread and butter.  Trust me they go together even if you get wheat bread and butter substitute.

Spirituality

Even growing up in the church I knew that some could hear the preacher and some would get their message in the song.  If I wanted to be deep this morning I really could dig into why the church and musicians have the most issues but I won’t do that today.  Let people listen to the music of their life.  We all have had moments where emotionally we were up and down.  With music downloads we can get it a drop of a dime.  Music is there for you when no one else can.  So if you use music to get you through, be in tuned to why you listen to your song of choice and always attempt to find something that is calming.

Your Music, Your Choice

It doesn’t have to be a song that is slow but let it be something that reminds you of a happy moment or happier time. It’s important to be able to see through music.  Do not let anyone tell you that your music choice is wrong.  I will get flack for this but most people reading my blogs are adults.  Stop shaming someone for listening to their sound tracks. Do I care that I know people will turn their nose up at my southern rap? NOPE!  I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but over here it brews just fine.  Me and DB have had many a day where he and I have gotten me through and we are fine.

Go To Soundtracks

What are your go to soundtracks?  I have music I play to get me to work and get through the day.  During the day we listen to jazz and it really is such a calming experience.  I also have music to help me face anything that I do not like. Even people I don’t like too. When people I love die I always associate them to a song.  When I hear it instead of getting overwhelmed with grief it focuses my attention to smile for the life they lived.  I have a song for when I want to be grown with my husband.  Matter of fact I got a few songs.

We are all grown and best believe there are some sound tracks that turn up the heat in our marital bed.  I have songs for when I need to motivate the kids to get dressed in the morning.  Music can be used anywhere you want to use it.  It can help you accomplish any goal.  It can get you through the happy as well as the sad times.  I encourage you to pay attention to your music and when and why you listen to what you listen to.  Also be equally aware of what you allow to entertain you in low times.  Music is the sound track to the soul use it wisely!!

 

 

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