Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing fathers. I know that today will be filled with mixed emotions.
People tend to use this day to uplift single mothers or call out deadbeat dads. I get it. However, there
are amazing fathers out there doing their best and showing up for their kids so let’s honor those.
Father’s Day Pain
Like so many I too have my own Father’s Day pain to some extent. My biological father hasn’t been in
my life since birth. He has seen me from a far various times when I lived in Ohio or visited. I found out
that he was even there across the street from my grandmother’s home the weekend trip I took after I
graduated high school. Have I tried to find him? Yes. I know where he is, and I have been in contact with
some of his siblings. However, I was too scared to do the work to see him. Apart of me felt that I was
chasing after a dream. The things that his and basically my family have told me makes me know that I
am not losing anything. The little girl in me wonders.
My stepfather has been the dad that I have known since the age of 5 years old. He has done all the
things that dads do. When I was younger and realized that he wasn’t my dad I felt a sense of
resentment. That is when my behavior changed. I can say that with confidence after years of therapy.
Having to forgive a man I don’t know has been hard. With forgiveness it’s more about you than the
other person. Thank you to my dad, my stepdad who stepped up when my biological father wouldn’t.
Honoring Amazing Fathers
Even with the pain that I have felt from time to time as the pain doesn’t linger as much as it did when I
was a kid, I still honor fathers. I think fathers are just as important as mothers. To be blessed to have a
relationship with your dad is a blessing. There are some fathers who have transitioned. We hold a light
for them. To my amazing husband thank you for loving all our children. For showing up and protecting
them from everything that may come their way. We honor you today for all that you are. Today, we
celebrate in an elaborate way.
Single Mothers and Father’s Day
My mom initially was a single mother. I watched her work, take care of us, and provide in ways that I
finally understood since becoming a parent. The hard work she did and as amazing as that was, she is
not a dad. I don’t judge the mothers who are playing both roles. I will say that your child will still feel the
sting of a missing father no matter how hard you try to take the role on. They will still mourn the
relationship that could have been. The kids even as adults will still want to know why he’s not there.
Please be understanding of that. I have heard many single mothers get offended with the ideology that
their child would miss a person who wasn’t there. Give grace towards your child as you also manage
your own emotions behind today.
To all the men who are amazing at fatherhood and make it look easily-a special salute to you. May your
day be filled with love and rest. I hope all dads get the same level of treatment that mothers did on
Mother’s Day. In our house we make it big for my husband. To my dad, I won’t see you today-but I hope
you have a great one you are deserving.