It’s Grandparents day today. The day we honor the grandparents who have poured into their children’s children and grandparent figures. Just like all of days where we honor grandparents we also have to mention that not all grandparents are not equal.
When Grandparents Spoil the Grandchildren
I used to think in my early years of parenting that this was a bad thing to do. What I realize now with becoming older is that grandparents want to do all they can take those moments in. Children grow up. As they grow it’s a realization that their time is precious. Grandparents don’t have the same level of responsibility that parents have. Their days of raising a child is done. They are now in charge of the gift giving and time spending. Have conversations about spoiling things that are against your house rules but be grateful that they desire to spend that time.
Lessons Learned From Grandparents
Grandparents can teach children all kinds of good lessons. From working hard to starting a new craft. Grandparents are vital in helping to induce skills. As a child my great grandparents taught me how to garden. Although I’m finally keeping my plant baby alive that time with them was a memory I get to hold onto. Don’t count out that time spent because sometimes children learn while playing.
When Grandparents Pick Favorites
You have to have an honest assessment. Is it really favoritism. Favoritism is really easy to spot at times when it’s overt. There are time when it’s subtle too. In a great world a grandparents love is always from a loving place! Grandparents who do for one and all at the same rate. However when it’s clear that the same love and that show of love isn’t clear it can make the children uncomfortable. If you ever have to explain that mismanagement of love to a child you know how hard it can be.
Speak up for the Child’s Sake
It’s imperative to leave children out of the conversations should you speak up. Be clear when you say what you and your child is experiencing. The grandparent(s) may feel as if the issue raised isn’t valid. Go into the conversation firm and attempt to find a way to compromise.
Creating Memories
One of the best things we can give children is memories. Allowing them to make memories with their grandparents is a beautiful thing. I feel sorry for children who aren’t able to do that. I understand there are a lot of reasons why that can’t be. Some grandparents are toxic. So parents elect to eliminate their children’s exposure. If your child’s grandparents aren’t toxic, arrange as much time as you can. There are stories that grandparents can pass down to your children.
I personally still remember stories, hugs, and the way my great grandparents held my hand. I’m grateful for the time I can still hold the hands of my grandparents who are here. Memories are better then the gifts that are given. Those memories stay with you for a lifetime.
Ways to Celebrate Grandparents Day
If you’re able and it’s safe enough, have dinner with them. Take them to breakfast. Call them. Talk with them about all of the things you appreciate about them. Gift them a keepsake. Create more memories every chance you can. Grandparents are on borrowed time. Don’t let time expire before you have had a chance to create those memories. Love on them. Tell them thank you for the help they give.
Bittersweet Day
Like with any day that is about uplifting people, today may be bittersweet. You may not have the ability to still call your grandparent (s). They may have transitioned. Your heart may be broken. Hold them dear to your heart. If you’re grieving a relationship that doesn’t exist, I understand that too. I didn’t have a relationship with my mom’s dad. I only have a picture of him. The only things I have are stories about him good and bad. If you’re children’s grandparents aren’t what you need them to be-I understand.
Sometimes the expectations that you have for the relationship of grandparents and children don’t always pan out. It’s hurtful to have grandparents who take no interest in their grandchildren. It’s hurtful.
Give honor to whom honor is due today! If you have amazing grandparents and their still here, let them know. If they have transitioned, hold them in your heart. It a relationship can be repaired-do so! If you just haven’t called your grandparent (s) for no other reason outside of you just not doing it-call them. Don’t let time separate a bond that can be made. If you are a grandparent (s) and your not doing your best by your grandchildren-find a way to do better.
Happy Grandparents Day to the Amazing Grandparents!
To all the grandparents who are surrogate grandparents we appreciate you too. People who give that love that it’s close to a grandparent. We need more of you! To our kids, surrogate grandfather, Father Corley. He passed away almost 2 years ago. He kept his word to them that he would always be there and he did just that!
