Monday Motivation: When Self-Care Ignites Anxiety

I know you might be thinking how is it possible to have something like self-care ignite anxiety? It happens quite often. You know how necessary daily self-care is and how valuable to your goals and health. You’re also aware that it could ignite your anxiety.

Anxiety is Normal

Until the pandemic so many people acted as if they weren’t experiencing anxiety. It’s a natural response to being scared, or uneasy about situations. It happens to the best of us. More and more people are realizing that some of the characteristics that they once had, like over excelling is layered in a form of anxiety. Anxiety shows itself in the most opportune times. So when you’re deep in your self-care it may show itself. Let me provide you an example from my real life.

Me Time

When I was deep and struggling with postpartum one of the things that my therapist suggested was me time. It was a great way to get a break from my children so I could come back refreshed and recharged. While out let’s say at one of my favorite stores such as Ulta Beauty, I would stress over the kids needing me. I knew I needed that time so anxiety creeped in. Here are some of the thoughts I had:

• What items do I need?
• What if I’m out “too” long?
• I should be home, I don’t need this time
• There’s too many items in the store, I need help but too scared to ask for it

Just that quick as I’m taking care of my self-care anxiety has stopped me with a list of questions. So many times I would be out and head home saying I couldn’t find anything. Later on I would complain of the items I didn’t have. So here’s how I solved it and powered through!

Solutions

• Put my phone on do no disturb while out but set my favorite people so that if they called 2 times I knew it was a real emergency. Moms know how it is the second they leave the house. Calls about absolutely nothing come in. Even if you’re not a parent, do not call is clutch to assist in not having distractions while out.
• If you’re concerned about time set a timer. That way you accomplish your self care goals and manage your time effectively.
• Too many items in the store is real for people who deal with anxiety. It can be overwhelming. I make a constant list on my phone of the items I need for myself, the items I want, household, and children. This way when I’m out for me I can have a list to work with instead of aimlessly shopping and feeling less focus!
• Set out with a goal and a plan. I turn on music I want to listen to when I’m alone or a podcast. I set a goal of a snack I can indulge that I don’t have to share with someone else. I make full use of my me time. All of the things I want to do that no one else wants to do, this is your time!

Getting out and Meeting New People

One of the goals I had was to make new friends. I had no issues in college. Once I graduated I found myself struggling to network and meet new people. I would be too scared to walk up and talk to others. Anxiety in social settings is one of the things that when I first started blogging and getting invites. I was excited to be invited until I remembered I wasn’t going to be the only person there. Conquering that fear and pushing through anxiety is key.

Solutions

When I’m at an event I set a goal. In the beginning I would set out to introduce myself to 5 new people. I would be cordial to all but that goal helped to increase my confidence. How can meeting new people help with self-care? If you’re looking to engage with others to build friendships, feeling like you belong is a form of self-care. Having a group that you can depend on is a form of self-care. Ask anyone who has ever had amazing friends. It’s a great feeling after being in their presence.

Money Holding You Back

Listen, self-care can get pricey but let’s not forget the simple things too. The excuse that you don’t have the money is just that-an excuse. Now you may not be able to vacation in Egypt but you can always self-care in other ways. I started a self-care savings for bigger things like solo trips. You know how I feel about solo trips. When I wasn’t taking a solo trip I started setting a few coins aside for staycations. Here are some practical ways of self-care:

• Spa day at home
• Coffee shops
• Free events in your city
• Reading a book with your favorite drink
• Magazine reading
• Indulging in your favorite snack or meal
• Manicure/pedicure time
• Time at the hair salon

Anxiety can creep in doing these times too! That feeling of if you are worthy enough of self-care is the biggest one! Let me help you, you are super worthy of putting that love and energy back into yourself. Another way is you don’t have time to do it because anxiety has reminded you of the tasks you have yet to complete. There are never enough hours in a day to do it all! Making yourself last will leave other areas of your life depleted. Make yourself a priority.