ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

My first question before I tell you what to do is to propose some questions for you to ask yourself.  How did you get to the point where he became your husband and he had a smell? I’m not attacking you, but I am asking straight forward questions.  The way you are saying he had a smell suggests that he has been like this with or without sex involved.  So he generally stinks and you continued dating him.  This I can’t wrap my brain around.  If your man stunk before marriage and now you are deep in it he’s not going to be open to change. For one as a person he obviously doesn’t think he has an issue because if you have an issue and do nothing than there’s a bigger issue than just body odor going on.

I for one need for you to deal with why you were okay with it.  I mean if he was just a little sweaty smelling and it was minor maybe but if he smelled any where close to where he is now you have to be speak some truths to yourself.  How to deal with it now is to be honest with him about what his smell was before and now.  You need to sit and have a heart to heart to see if he even notices and if he does why he hasn’t done anything before now.  It’s going to be a very difficult conversation.  Body odor affects intimacy to say the least.

If its mental or physical he is going to need to see a doctor. To be honest it could be something as simple as changing his routine.  Or it could be something more like dealing with stress and depression.  Either way its something bigger than you and you being a wife should be at a level where you feel comfortable or do what you are doing now by asking someone for advice.  You can’t make him change but you can be the one that ushers him into change.  Wives have a lot of influence so please use it.  And before the mob comes after me yes I do mean letting him know that its at a point where its affecting intimacy if it really is affecting it.  For me it would, but you know where you stand with that.  I really do understand where some people have just let themselves go.  Although I understand it that doesn’t mean that others around it can be blind to it.  You love your husband so the conversation is inevitable.  Unless you plan on not being intimate or just knowing he stinks and never speak up.  And I hate to burst your bubble if you can smell him, not only can he but so can his co-workers, friends, and family.  So that’s why its bigger than just you.  I’m sure those around him or asking themselves if you being the one who is around him the most hasn’t said anything until now.  So yes, if you can’t talk to him about it and you should than you will need to talk to a male friend or family of his and see if they are willing to speak to him.  To be honest though that’s a last resort.  I know it will be hard but sometimes the truth is like that.  Go and talk to your man and do it quickly.

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