ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

black man writing in a book sitting outside

So it’s Wednesday and I have just gotten to getting my life together for this week I think. April is stress awareness month.  For the month we will try to break down stress in all categories possible.  This week we need to tackle the mind-set.  This is the first level of stress that actually occurs.  Yes we know that life happens and there are events that send us into overload but the reality is that the mind is the playground for most of our trouble. So let’s talk about mental setbacks.

Mental Setbacks

So what is a mental setback?  It is usually made up of our thoughts.  We think something and then become that.  Like for instance keep telling yourself that you are fat.  You might be by scientific measures but your mind keeps thinking “I am fat” and you spend less ways trying to fix the issue, but more ways of downing yourself for the weight and nothing happens.  You will remain fat.  I know there are some who let their minds control them to the point that they can’t do anything until they “feel” it.  This is a lose lose situation. Your feelings start with your mindset.

Change the Mindset

I know you have heard at least once in your life that if you change your mindset you change your life.  It’s very true. Now we all need a come to Jesus moment every now and again where the mind is so polluted and its hard to crawl out so here are a few ways you can reset your mindset.

Image result for playing with the mind gif

Ways to Change your Mental Setbacks:

  1. Think.  Yes how you think is how you are.  Change the way you think about the situation or person.  Yes your light bill is due and there is more money going out than in.  Think, what can I do?  Have you tried to call and make arrangements? Find programs that can work with your income level?  Have you attempted to find out what changes in your home you can make to lower your overall cost?  Have you thought about things in your home you could see that you don’t use or don’t want and sell them? Do you have a talent such as baking that can generate extra income? These things take the doom and gloom out of the situation and makes you responsible in finding positive outcomes.  You use your mind to make a solution or progress and less time wallowing in despair over it.
  2. Clear your head.  Did you know that going outside for 5 minutes helps your self-esteem.  10 minutes and you have changed your ability to see things differently.  In 20 minutes your energy level increases.  30 minutes helps increase blood flow and decreases your depressive mood.  Wow it didn’t say you had to go out and be physical which is also a great mood stabilizer as well but it means simply being outside. Fresh air is quite a mood helper.  Get outside.
  3. Bounce off others-not literally. However sometimes a conversation with a trusted friend may help you see things different and then change your mindset as well.  It can help you put things into perspective.  Find someone who is uplifting.  I have said this a thousand times and its true, Negative Nancies don’t do anything but bring your entire spirit down and that’s the last thing you need when you are dealing with mental stress.
  4. Take a time out-some parents use this tactic to calm a child and get them redirected.  It works the same for adults.  Corners aren’t always necessary. However taking a few moments to yourself to gather yourself can be life changing even if it’s for a few moments.  Do this often no matter how great or bad things are going.
  5. Change who you associate with-this is major.  Have you ever been around someone with a problem with someone and then you either start not liking who they don’t like or you start nit-picking others just from being in the same room or atmosphere as someone who is like that.  Change who you are around to help keep everything that you do and who you are around the way it needs to be.  This doesn’t mean life will just get better but having the right people in place is key
  6. Work on loneliness-this is true especially for single people.  An idle mind is the playground for unsavory things. I know that being single is hard.  You want someone to eat with, laugh with, and yet you go home to an empty home or home with just little people in it and have no one who makes you just want to be happier with. Well the time to change that is now.  Start finding your passion or an activity that you enjoy. The little known secret when you get married is that you don’t always have to give up your activities but sometimes you have to limit the amount of time you do them.  If you are focusing on the loneliness you will not see the beauty in coming and going as you please.  Create a little schedule and balance yourself so that you aren’t sitting around “bored.”  Trust me and its true happy people not just bubbly people attract the right people.  You are more attractive when you are happy and content.  That doesn’t mean you must have it altogether or have everything in its right place.  Being happy in your skin is an amazing and is more beautiful than any concealer or foundation can provide.

Your Part

So we will dive more into our mindsets because we have to start from the top in order to have happy and less stressful lives. How do people who have the very bottom of their lives fall and still smile?  They don’t let things in their mind overtake them?  We will explore next what to do when after you have tried it all and you may need to see a professional.  I know its taboo to talk about it but if we were honest getting help isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.

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