ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Summer

Summer should be a time of fun in the sun. It can be. However let’s not discount the fact that although you may be booked and ready for a vacation, anxiety doesn’t take one. So what are some situations that can increase anxiety? Here are some as well as ways around it so you can live your best Summer life.

Summer Get Togethers

As people have invitations for Summer get togethers, be clear on what you want to be at and those you don’t. Last minute invitations for people you aren’t close to would be a great time to decline. Personally with my busy schedule I would decline since I normally need at least 2 weeks to a month’s notice. My husband has no issue with last minute plans. If someone invites me somewhere and I have no close relationship I may decline. I need time to prepare. It’s not okay for to me put myself in tough social situations at whelm. Go to what you feel comfortable and don’t make any apologizes. I used to go to things last minute and be screaming on the inside trying to be a people pleaser. Now, I manage my time and my anxiety and say no.

Summer

Traveling with People who Travel in the Same Likeness

Traveling is too costly even before the Pandemic to waste money on vacation. I also a firm believer that just because you are friends and it sounds like a good idea, don’t travel with everyone. My idea of vacation includes 4-5 star hotels. I won’t stay in anything less on vacation because luxury is apart of my ideal of what it means to be on vacation. The old excuse that we are simply sleeping in a room won’t cut. I’m in my 40s with a 40 year old back and body. I want to be comfortable. Also for me, I like excursions but I also like to mix pool lounge days in-between. For my friends who like to micro manage every second of vacation I will happily decline. Plus you have to travel with your friends locally before you go out of the state or out of the country.

Summer

Travel with those who have your same travel style. In addition, those who like to pay for things. I know times get hard. We all have been in tough situations. But the friend who always needs you to pay for something has to be super close to me, and I have to be in the mindset of being able to handle it. If your friend is the “I will pay you back later” and later never comes-don’t go on vacation with them. I know whole friendships end on vacation due to lack of financial responsibility. For your anxiety, have your money. Be clear on who ordered what. Be clear before you go how you will handle transportation, dining, and more.

Family Reunions

As a child I used to love going to family reunions. To be honest, I haven’t been to many in the last few years. Personally I had taken some personal time to reflect on life where my extended family is concerned. I haven’t evaluated if I am comfortable enough to continue in any family reunions until I am ready. If that isn’t your case, make sure you do the following:

  • Get your own hotel room for you and your immediate family if applicable
  • Unless you are comfortable do not allow anyone else who doesn’t live in your home stay in your hotel room
  • Add days before or after the reunion to do your own vacation
  • Participate in the family reunion activities that you are the most comfortable
  • Leave anytime you need to regardless if someone doesn’t agree

Summer

Summer Happy Hours with Work

Happy hours after work in the Summer just feels different. Do not feel obligated to go. If you are able to plan a happy hour ahead-do so. If not and it’s someone who you aren’t fond of, decline. Part of letting dealing with your anxiety also requires that you are honest. Be honest. Do not make up a lie. You’re a whole adult. Whatever you do don’t force yourself to be in spaces you don’t want to be in. Happy hours that are not being organized by your job as mandatory don’t need the same energy. Go to what you will and do your own thing when you don’t.

Summer

Dressing the Part in the Summer

One of the things that can plague people in the Summer and beyond is having to dress the part. If you struggle in the clothes department use the Pinterest trick. There are plenty of Creators who will break down an outfit for all occasions. From Brunch to a Luau get the inspiration ahead of time. If you are invited to a themed dinner or party if you don’t plan on acting the part, decline the invitation. However it’s a matter of not knowing what to wear, accept it and start working on the outfits right away. Not feeling comfortable in what you wear creates a level of anxiety that no one wants. So look ahead. Shop your own closet first. The way the styles are moving around what you thought was a bust last year is a good thing now.

Summer

Remember to take your time this Summer and enjoy it. I personally use my Calmigo. Why? It’s helpful especially during travel.

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