ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So this weekend was an overload of encouragement, answers, and enlightenment.  Most of the time I do not have individual time to just sit and soak in good vibes as much as I would like.  I take time out for myself but there’s another level when you are able to just sit and take in and build yourself up without distraction.  However there are a few lessons that I know will get your week started.

I was at a women’s conference this weekend and let me just say its been so long since I’ve attended one.  I think my last one was maybe right after college and that was in 2003 so you do the math.  It’s not that I hadn’t been invited to them its that I now have a 2-year-old and pretty much I have been pregnant it seems the last 7 years.  I may be over dramatic but when you have your kids every 2 years it’s not a far off thought.  So finally I was able to leave the kids behind and get with some like-minded women and share in the most encouraging experience of my life.  I haven’t been broken down and built up like I was this weekend in a long time.  It was so necessary.  One thing I can say before I continue is that you have to invest your time in anything that is going to make you better.  We spend time shopping, etc.but won’t invest in ourselves.  It’s a hard lesson I learned when I realized how long I had let my emotional and spiritual needs go.

Here are a few lessons I learned this weekend:

  1. Invest time in yourself and allow others to help you.  If you are a control freak like myself you know that this is a lesson better left untouched.  I’m just going to be real I try to do as much as I can without anyone’s help.  I hate asking for help for fear that others will throw in my face what they did.  There you have it that’s just how I think at times.  People are like that they turn you off from opening up but the reality is that it’s not the people who is the problem its my hands on, I don’t need you, I got me, self that is the issue.  However at the end of the day its better to be able to allow someone else to pour into your life at times than to be a one man or one woman show.  I didn’t realize how run down I was.
  2. It’s okay not to know all of the answers.  I pride myself for having a clear head about myself and I really can navigate through difficult challenges but there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.
  3. Sisterhood is important.  I didn’t realize how great it felt to get a hug from another woman who just wanted to love on you.  No strings attached, no desire to get from you, just wanting to say hi, how are you and mean it, meant the world to me.  I am more encouraged to keep the connections strong with others.

Then flash forward to last night.  As I type this I’m really on zero amounts of sleep.  From the conference, taking the kids to the zoo, and then having good friends visit, I am drained but renewed. I’m talking about maybe 2 hours of sleep at best.  One thing is for sure other than getting my rest tonight, I am grateful for good company.  The couple that visited with us last night the male friend is recovering from a bad motorcycle accident that has left him with an amputated leg.  It was a little uneasy at first trying to find the words to say.  I went right in to treating him like nothing happened.  However it was refreshing that he was willing to talk about his experiences because it helped to take the sting of anxiety we all felt.  One of the things I took away from his visit was that we all have something that is attempting to hinder us.  I can’t and don’t pretend to know what my friend is going through at all.  I don’t know his struggles of navigating physically, emotionally, and mentally without the activity of a leg.  What I do know is that although most do not have that as their testimony we act just like he’s navigating.  We allow something within us to say we can’t do, don’t want to do, or plain old won’t do.  He has the sense to keep pushing. He doesn’t have the choice because he was thrown into his new life without warning.

We have choices and options to do what we need to do but often times we just merely make excuses after excuses until the next thing we know its past a time that we think is impossible so we say I wish I had done.  As long as you still have breath, the time is now.  I saw him and was so happy for one just his mere presence.  He isn’t supposed to be here. He is a miracle.  He showed me last night so much hope, that I when I woke up tired I said let me get moving.  I literally felt a sense of peace just from him coming into our home. What are you lacking today?  Is it something mental?  Is it physical?  Can it be replaced? Do you have the strength to continue?  Write down the areas you see lack.  Then revisit the list in a day.  Write down an action plan that can help you overcome it and then reach out to those around you and make it happen. I know you got you.  I know you are strong.  I know you don’t even like people, but you will need others.  Work out within your mind and silence the negative thoughts.  If you allow your mind to play tricks on you the only thing that will happen is that you will keep beating yourself up and not going  anywhere.  That’s why years later you end up in the same place you started.  Get your mind racing into the direction you want to go. You need a plan and you need one now.  If you haven’t made a vision board, please do.  If you haven’t written your dreams and goals down, do it now. How do you go somewhere without a plan?  Do you go to places with no GPS?  Probably not. Your journey will be hard but God will place people in your path, answers in your path if you are willing to find them and are open.  Make it happen, no more excuses!!

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