You’re little blog won’t work! Those were the words that so many told me. I was told it was too conversational. It was so badly written that no one would read it. I was hurt but I didn’t show it. Do you know how crazy that sounded? No constructive criticism from many just the dead stop message of just stop writing! Since therapy I realized how low of a person you have to be to put someone down?! I knew at that moment what my why was! It wasn’t to prove them wrong but it was about making sure that I remember that my voice needed to be louder than the people discouraging me.
Onward and Upward
Blogging in my first few years were slow. The naysayers must have been right?! My little hobby wasn’t getting the traction I thought I would have. I should stop! I should end this journey and find something else. In the beginning it was hard but I enjoyed it! I enjoyed being vulnerable. Telling my is important to me since I was the only one who could! I knew all of the hindrances in my personal life with managing small children, my marriage was rocky at the time, and I was floundering in a new city! I had so many reasons to quit but I knew inside of me that I had to continue.
New Connections for the Blog
One day I decided that after I got some help with anxiety and postpartum depression that this blog needed a refreshing and it would start with me. I got on a scale at my previous job and I was almost 200 pounds. I was floored! So I started some inner work. Every issue that I was facing, I had to take responsibility for what I had added to the pot! So from the inside out instead of complaining about not having friends, not having support; I decided what could I do to change the atmosphere. I started to be invited to events in Philadelphia. From those invites I put myself out there and made friends. I made connections. The connections gave me a rush of support that made the difference.
New Me who Dis
So I lost a ton of weight on the inside. I lost a ton of weight on the outside too. Yes I changed my circle. Changing my circle was key. Changing how I mothered helped me with my children. Taking care of my mental health and dealing with childhood trauma helped me see life in a different way. My little blog that wouldn’t work according to a select few opened me up to more opportunities.
My marriage got better with counseling and when I stopped seeing my husband as an agitator. I listened to his concerns and stopped seeing his issues with me as negative and said what if he what he’s saying was right?! Also speak up! I had to speak up to myself and those around me. Why am I allowing people to speak over me who don’t even know me?! That last statement was the move for me to literally move ahead and brand Toitimeblog and make moves.
BlogHer
I was told to be careful navigating in the BlogHer space because it was so celebrity driven that I would be just another number. I missed going to BlogHer 3 years ago because I was scared and I didn’t know anyone. The next year I decided I was going to go. When I found it was in New York it intimidated me. I remembered how bad I felt missing the first year that I made the promise to go and make it a personal experience. The Creators Summit when outside was open was a day and a half. The first day which is half a day I really felt relieved to be there but the nerves from driving and attempting to settle in I still didn’t feel as if was utilizing my space as best as I should.
Stop Wasting your Time
So the next day of the Creators Summit I decided I didn’t risk New York traffic, meal prepping for my kids, paying for my hotel, and gathering myself to waste my own time. Too much money had been put out for me not to come out of this with connections, brand deals, etc. So I sat as close to the front as I could, took out my notebook and took notes. I was relentless on my social media. At the end they were giving out prizes. I had no idea that I had even won the main prize which was a trip to LA to the next BlogHer conference, money, and luggage from Away. As I got the prize I realized, I had a gift to catch the attention of BlogHer I could do the same with other brands!
What’s your Ask?
We all have an ask. We all have something that we need and to be honest there are connections and brands that can help in that leverage. What is your ask? Is it just a deal to make money? That’s fine but what can you do to help the relationship be a two way street? Recently although I’m in a network with TCP, I want to also have my own podcast. I reached out to Goodpods and asked who they had in their network as a expertise. I sent the email and an hour later the founder of Goodpods got back to me. Next thing I knew we were having a face to face conversation. From that conversation I was linked to a professional consultant. I also had the resources to go from nothing to having everything all from a simple ask! (While there, follow me too as toitimeblog)
You Never Know Who is Connected!
So from the conversation with JJ from Goodpods, I find out that she is great friends with Samantha Skey who is the CEO of Blogher and SheMedia! Talk about connections? Between the two I went from a random email to having the full on support that I needed. I was asked to speak at the BlogHer Creators Summit! It was an experience of a lifetime. I was nervous but I felt so comfortable. The love that was given before, during and after is something that words can’t describe. Telling others about how hard it is to not believe in yourself. That year I didn’t go to BlogHer hit me like a ton of bricks. How could I let myself down and not build my brand?! Who else is going to build it? No one will believe in my brand more than I!
Me at BlogHer Health 20 in February 2020
More to Come on the Blog
So there is more to come. I’ll announce it along the way! No way will I not continue to make moves. If you have a vision to write, create, make videos, whatever it may be. Do not let people tell you you’re little idea wont work! That is a full on lie!
- You can and will make it happen.
- Stay the course.
- Believe in yourself and when you doubt yourself go back to believing
- Work on yourself from the inside out while you figure out your brand
- Never forget your why
- Dream big and even if plans change, don’t stop dreaming
If you’re not apart of Facebook BlogHer Creators page, join now! There are resources and network of creators who are there to help you build!
Me with Reshma Gopaldas, VP of Video
So what’s my inspiration for you…you are the only one who can’t stop your shine. Covid-19 can’t stop you and neither can the way we move going forward. Don’t copy anyone else’s sauce. Be your own dope self!
So create! Make moves! Be you and enjoy the journey!
Follow me as I continue my journey!
I hope I can inspire you a little more to continue in your journey!!
Thank you BlogHer for the opportunity. I look forward to working with you in the future!
I always DID love your sweet little blog, Toi 🙂 I’m SO GLAD you’re still going when so many of my blogging buddies have moved on to other things. But I’M BACK! Let’s get ’em. girl!
Yes ma’am! Listen this little blog got way too many folks to touch to stop! You better come on and let’s go get em’
Yes, ma’am! <3