Best Friends Day 2020

So today is the day where you get to revel in the friendship that isn’t just the basic friendship, the Best Friendship. These are the friends you would drop life for and help. The friends that you know well and would stop the world to see that they are secured. The ones that you know their families and children well enough to be a surrogate aunt or uncle for.

Best Friend Drama

So with all relationships some best friends can have tough times. Now before we begin I am going to have to give a disclaimer that this section may or may not be tough for my own best friends to read but this is where my space to speak my truth so here we go. I have had best friend issues. This doesn’t mean the relationship is over it just means there are times in friendships where you have to decide if the relationship is strong enough to put on hold or to end with. If you have been watching Insecure on HBO, Molly and Issa (spoiler alert) have parted ways after attempting to make amends. The reason is simple when an issue occurs with a real friend instead of putting the pieces back together as they once were, you have to do the work to fix the actual problem or risk the relationship not amending at all. Issa and Molly aren’t in that space right now.

My Own Molly

So I have had a Molly like issue where you don’t see eye to eye. My best friend and I had some turmoil a few years ago that caused such a great divide that I wasn’t even in her wedding. Without getting into it that hurt me. It hurt me that we were divided. Yes we came together and talked about it but the pain in feeling like I was alone without her was devastating. I had to figure out my space. I will never get the moment of her wedding back. To come back from that was hard for me. There were a lot of people in the middle causing division but if I was honest, I did a lot on my own end that needed to mend. During that time and even now I am in the place that just because a relationship has one designated “leader” of the group, its important to have your own mind and be able to articulate that to your best friend. It wasn’t easy because we both had to deal with what we said and did to one another. We have rekindled and dealt with the issues that came from that period and are solid. Not all best friends can say that. Molly with Issa is at that same place. Having your own issues clouding up your ability to treat and speak well of one another.

Best Friends Don’t have to Apologize

That is not true. When you are young and a child or in your early teenagers you come together like nothing happened but when you are grown, as a best friend your words can be taken out of context, you abuse your line of communication, or you can say the right thing and forget to be human and show love in the truth you speak. I grew up in a home where telling it like it is was an every day way of life, but that doesn’t mean you can walk over folks just because you are best friends. Speak in love. Apologize when you make a mistake. Take it from my relationship with one of my best friends, talk earlier rather than later. My best friend and I had I think maybe a few months to under a year of silent treatment and that space is not a good place to build a meaningful relationship. I am so mad when I think about the time that was wasted. But its now the catalyst for us to bring issues to the table from the beginning instead of allowing it to fester.

Best friends Care

I know this is a weird place but we make relationships to be about sunshine and roses when in fact they take work from both sides. My best friend and I wouldn’t have been able to speak to one another and might have lost our relationship altogether had we not taken the initial steps. Relationships flow better when they flow from hearts that are pure and hard conversations are had. You must be willing to be honest with one another. You must be willing to be the adults you should be and communicate. If one person is upset and it will happen, its okay to take a break meaning lets come together and deal with it. Don’t pull a Molly and Issa move where you just simply attempt to exist I promise you it doesn’t work.

Great Times

I think because I had that difficult with one of my best friend, which by the way I do have several it made it easier when I had smaller issues with the others to be able to speak authentically and call in subjection bad times a lot sooner before things spilled over. Overall I have at tight knit relationship with my Best Friends. I wouldn’t trade them but I will say I highly doubt I will be adding. I need to be able to give my priority friends all I have. This pandemic has put a damper on being able to see them, hug, or love on them, but like real friends we are using technology to connect and its been amazing. Love wins when you do the work.

So as you celebrate the best friends who are like extended sisters or brothers make sure that you empower the relationship to be at its best by always communicating with honesty, love, and power so that the relationship can grow to be the best it can be. So let me know in the comments what’s been the greatest things you have done in your relationship with your best friend or the biggest fight you have that you have overcome. Trust me like sisters who fight, best friends who do the work are that much better for it.

So shout out your best friends and let them know that through the good and bad, you love them, take care with them, and are willing to do the work to make the relationship be as beautiful as it can be.

Let me remind you what TLC said about friends:

Every now and the, I get a little crazy,
That’s not the way it’s supposed to be
Sometimes my vision is a little hazy,
I can’t tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me, yeah
People try to say I act a little funny,
But that’s just a figure of speech to me
They tell me I changed because I got money,
But if you were there before,
Then you’re still down with me
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
Well, is it me, or can it be I’m a little too friendly
So to speak hypothetically
Say I supply creativity to what others must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy which results in unfortunate destiny.
They dog me out then be next to me,
Just cause I am what some choose to envy
Every now and then, I get a little easy,
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never thought they would ever deceive me,
Don’t you know when times got rough,
I was standing on my own
I’ll never let another get that close to me,
You see I’ve grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you’ll see,
If your friend is true then they’ll be there with you
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
Yo, is it me, or can it be I’m a little too friendly
So to speak hypothetically
Say I supply creativity to what others must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy which results in unfortunate destiny
They dog me out then be next to me,
Just cause I am what some choose to envy
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
(What about your friends?)
People say I act a little funny,
I wouldn’t change, not for no money
I’ll be a friend as long as you’re a friend to me
(What about your friends?)
Even though I might seem easy,
It don’t give you no cause to deceive me
It’s not the way that I want my friends to ever be
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?
What about your friends, will they stand their ground,
Will they let you down again?
What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown,
Will they ever be around,
Or will they turn their backs on you?

To my BFFs-Thank you for standing with me, calling me out when necessary, doing the work, and loving unconditionally… the contract has been renewed like one of the BFFs say!