Happy Wellness Wednesday. Today we are talking about self care. Self care is my favorite topic to cover. We hear and know how important self care is. The ideal of taking the time out for what you need at the moment is clear however many struggle. From the concept that doing a self care task will make you feel automatically better and fully fulfilled has its myths.
Is Self Care Fulfilling?
Yes and no. Doing a self care act can be a fulfilling to someone who is learning to lead a fulfilling life. This means that if you have major things happening in your life that you are simply ignoring, a bubble bath will not rid you of them. However taking charge of those areas one day at a time and being active in would. It’s about taking life and making the best of of the lemons you were given. This is why stories where people triumph seem so aspiring because we too wish we could do these things in our personal lives. You may not save a drowning baby but you could save yourself from drowning in debt. Taking charge of your spending habits, cutting excessive things you don’t need and then adding some home self care to your life feels better.
You don’t have to live in perfection to feel fulfilled. It just feels more at peace that while things aren’t fully right; you’re at least making the right steps towards it. So if you want self care to feel more fulfilling let’s take active roles in how we manage the things around us.
Self Care and Self Sabotage
Sometimes our self care doesn’t feel fulfilling because we are self sabotaging. For instance, if you always heard that once you become a Mom you aren’t allowed to rest or recharge. The Mom guilt along with the need to be seen as overly caring will sabotage your self care time. Mom guilt is one thing. However adding personal sabotage is another. Doing things like being fully distracted on your personal time, not taking time, or cutting it short to fulfill the needs of others all help to sabotage the purpose of your self care. I heard that even married women have husbands who cut into their time. Newsflash-sometimes it happens because we allow it.
Finding Your Needs
Know that your self care needs will change. You are consistency changing. So be aware of that as you begin your journey. What worked yesterday won’t work today. Self care needs are about what you need in the moment to sometimes refocus. For instance, last week I was super cranky and realized that I needed to watch an half hour of a baking show to calm down. I was overstimulated with social media and needed a break. That 30 minute baking show led me to work out and then read. It helped me take a few hours away from social media. That was helped. Sometimes self care needs is recognizing that you need rest. That could come in going to bed earlier, or getting a nap. However its being still enough to find it.
Start with what you Love
Whatever the desires of your heart are start there with your self care. When I was single I loved quiet places like bookstores. This was because through some fault of my own my 20s was a mess. Remember life doesn’t have to be perfect to enjoy self care. The quiet times I had I would map out major things in my life. Often times I made debt repayment plans, looked for a new job, and simply journaled. Now that I have a family I still gravitate towards quiet places. My life may not be as chaotic as it was in my 20s but quiet places speak to me.
Drop the Perfection
SeIf you were a dancer and moved away from it, find a dance class that you have been wanting to try. Drop the notion that you have to be a certain skill level or weight to do it. I took pole dancing classes postpartum and it was the best thing. Yes I was scared about how I looked but the staff I was at made a safe place. No, I can’t do a lot of tricks that I learned but I got confidence and time to myself away from my home.
Self care is essential to a healthy lifestyle. The time that you pour into you will give you clarity and help the cups you have been ordained to fill. Don’t skip your self care routine. Everytime I post about self care someone says, “I need to get back on it!” Do it. Don’t hold off until tomorrow. Do it now. Get a cup of your favorite drink-its early so stick to a non alcoholic version, journal, and more. Increase your self care from once a week to everyday for at least 15 minutes. It will get easier and it will help you. Get back on track because you are worthy.
