ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So this morning while minding my business.  I was asked to help an older woman get to her destination.  I was inside of my building and I didn’t even have a clue as to where she was even going.  She was older and said dear, could you please just get me there?  I got up and without a sense of direction I just escorted her to her destination.

Now as we were on the elevator she began to share her story with me.  She was widowed and had 3 older daughters who don’t call her or come to see about her.  She pretty much was alone.  She said that she likes her independence but she wished she had companionship.  I looked at her and was just taken back.  Here she was older in age and struggling to get around and not one person to talk or walk with her.  She said make sure that as a mother that you take some time out for your spouse and yourself.  She said that she had devoted every ounce of time into her daughters and now that shes old they don’t even call her except on her birthday and holidays.  She sees them maybe once a year if that and they live in the same city.

She let me know that being a good mom doesn’t mean making sure that all of their needs are met and neglect your own.  She said had she put herself at the top of her list more often she would have kept in touch with friends, traveled and now she has to live with regret and loneliness.  As I made sure she got to her destination, she looked at me almost with tears and said you are doing everything you need for your babies.  Take care of yourself and make sure you take a trip or have some overnight time with your husband away from the kids.  She explained as the kids left the home her and her husband were strangers to each other. She didn’t know that he had changed and his needs had changed because she wasn’t in tune into him anymore.  So ladies, especially my mommy friends, please heed her advice.  That 15 minutes of nuggets (wisdom) was well worth my little walk this morning.

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