ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So yes as I stated in my other college related blogs I didn’t start drinking until at least end of sophomore or early junior year.  I won’t name my supplier since I wasn’t of age. Now this is where all parents fear comes in the most.  Kids and alcohol don’t always mix.  Let me say off the bat that drinking responsibly is drinking of age and not to get drunk.  Let me say I didn’t follow those rules so let me tell you some of the things that I got into as a result of that. This is anti drink message. This is a make your own choices message.  This is a be in control of yourself message.  I’m not about to tell folks what they should or shouldn’t and I know me and my freinds have stories for days about the things we all did while drinking.  Drinking is a personal choice but be prepared like with all things to handle the responibilities and consequences of drinking.

Let me reassure any friends that this is not a time for me to drop dimes.  Keep in my mind this will come only from my perspective but for the rest of the world I didn’t drink alone. Now that we got that out in the air, drinking at first was to taste the alcohol.  I really did enjoy alcohol.  I was a baby drinker.  I would order when it came time for me to order and ask for pina coladas, rum and cokes because it was something I could order and not look inexperienced even though I really was. The first time I drank I was on campus and the intention was for me to get someone else drunk and it didn’t work.  She kept her cool and to be honest I don’t even think she drank that night.  Me and another friend did and did and did.  We weren’t sloppy drunk but we were drunk.  Now let me hip freshman and newbies to what could have happened.  We could have been caught drinking under age in a campus dormitory and gotten into serious trouble.  Thankfully we didn’t.

There were many stories of times where I drank to get totally wasted.  I mean like couldn’t fully remember what happened.  That put me so many bad situations.  Shout out to my friends who definitely had a system where one of us had to be semi sober to keep the others in line.  I hadn’t heard too many stories between friends where women were being raped while the other friend was there and was too drunk to see what happened.  Drinking and over drinking to the point of getting drunk seems fun to a certain extent.  I never needed alcohol to have a good time.  Let me be clear I enjoyed dancing and socializing without out.  However I played many a beer pong games, and other college related drinking games so I’m not about to front on that.  As I got older I still drank but it wasn’t the same level.  I  as an adult can’t remember the many times I drank to get drunk like I did in college. Again it was my choice and a choice where I had to be sure I could handle the responsibilities of that choice.  Looking at it now I could say yes but reality is if I was arrested or put off campus I would have been devastated.

If you are a parent talk to your kids about being safe while on campus.  You won’t be there to stop them from drinking but you can instill in them the dangers that can happen if they do.  If you are a student make it up in YOUR mind what you want to do.  Never drink to please a man or a woman.  Trust me if someone is pressuring you to drink they are going to pressure you for other things such as sex.  So be careful.  Be your own person.  I was with friends who didn’t drink because that wasn’t their thing.  Outside of us attempting to get our one friends drunk, we didn’t push the issue.  If you were one who went to college and didn’t drink kudos to you.  Drinking or not drinking is a personal choice.  I wouldn’t look down for either choice.  However there are many pitfalls such as getting addicted or drinking to have fun.  If you have to drink to have fun that’s just whack.  You are a wonderful person.  You don’t need drinks to make you more beautiful, more energetic or to be more social.  Learn what you like before you allow alcohol to enter the picture.  Then it becomes a choice and not something you do just to be fun.  Fun is in your mind and how you engage. Remember beer goggles are real.   Beer and alcohol goggles are what you use to see things and trust the vision is always distorted. Many men for my ladies will prey on you.  They see easy written on your face.  Always have a system in place.  Never let yourself get too wasted.

One important thing is date rape.  I spoke briefly on this before but please ladies realize that a man can and will take advantage of you.  I’m not saying all men but some will.  Do not take drinks from someone who didn’t make that drink in front of you.  I don’t care how much you can trust them.  I know on college there is always big tubs of drinks already mixed so you take a risk but be careful.  I went to a party that served Ever Clear in a baby pool.  No lie it was in a baby pool where people were just dipping their cups into it and drinking.  I literally watched as some people appeared to just drink and then others were adding things.  How do you add anything to Ever Clear?  Like it seriously was already a strong drink.  So be careful.  I drank what I wanted and moved right along.  Keep in mind too that baby pool had everyone’s hand in it.  What I told myself and my friends know that my rule is alcohol kills the germs.  I don’t know the realness of that statement but it’s what I lived by.

College is designed to encourage drinking.  There are many specials on campus that cater to students.  I remember many wonderful drinking establishments that only my Penn Staters would know and I still go and get even to this day and they are nice and cheap. College kids are broke people.  So that is why many get together to combine funds to get the alcohol.  That doesn’t mean just becuase you put in with someone that they have to be the ones that pour.  Also on campus will have drinks for like $2 a piece.  On Penn State campus alone if you got $10 you can get a pitcher of long island and some Pokey sticks and be good for the evening.  Drinking does add up so be aware of that.

Be aware that you must know where you stand on this topic before you go.  You can and will change your mind if you want but always keep safety as your number one forefront.  I would suggest the following:

  1. Always have cab fare or now Uber and Lyft.  Be aware of your surroundings at all times.  You can still be assaulted even in a cab.
  2. Get drinking friends who are accountable.  Meaning its more than just a designated driver but a designated watcher that kind of keeps everyone in line.  It’s almost like the Bad Boy movie, we leave together we come home together.
  3. Drink and know your limits.  I would attempt to overindulged when I was in a safe place that if I did fall asleep it was with close friends that we had already discussed their house being the safe haven before hand.
  4. Watch who you take drinks from.  If possible get your own drinks.  Do not allow anyone to make you drink anything you do no want.
  5. Safety is first.  Always have your own back.  Make sure you are ready to accept the responsibilities of drinking before you start.  Don’t think it can’t happen to me because it can and will.

 

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