Self Care

Quarantine Woes…This week of Struggles….

LaToi Storr April 4, 2020 no Comments

During this time, we have so much on our minds. Some of its based-on survival and some of its about mental and emotional health. I took a few thoughts that I am sure we all have but are too afraid to speak it openly and will address them here. Mental and emotional health are on the line with many. The unknown is stressing people all the way out.

Sick and still had work to do

Managing FaceTime, Zoom etc.

I use Zoom right now for business calls. I use other methods to feel less business like. For me the balance on whom of my friends and family members I need to speak or connect with. It’s a juggle to do. I don’t normally speak to my extended family but now we are in a pandemic knowing in the back of my mind before that everyone is okay may not necessarily be the case now and I must reach out more. So, for those I may not be as close I like to do more of a 15-minute chat. The other calls or check in times naturally flow. Trying to manage my emotions during this is a lot.

To check–in with others is an emotional pull to me. Figuring out who gets my time because even being in the house time is lost. I wake up and before I know it depending if it’s a great productive day I look, and dinner is being cleaned up and its almost bedtime for the kids. I am business on the top and pjs or sweats on the bottom. I must break down and do laundry now because all my fun lounge clothes are getting maximum wear. There’s no need for me to dress my kids up we are enjoying this down time wear. I remember one of my kids in a Zoom call and the teacher was like “are you in pjs?” The answer is yes, yes we are all in pjs. For some getting dressed up is a great way to boost morale. I dress up almost every day because I am always in the public view but now that I am home, my family and I are good with less make up days and sweats.

Give pets some snuggle time too

Wine and Chill

For some its wine and chill and for me I’m still in on wine and work mode even after the kids down for bed. As someone who is pushing business beyond a 5pm shut off, I might not get to blog emails until the kids go down and now, I feel like I mustcontinue the movement. I love wine and beer to be honest but these days I can’t get to a beer distributor because the scare of me leaving the house to get beer is too much. My wine for right now is convenient and you know by now I get it from Winc. Click here to get $22 off your first order. Also, wine time has increased where I would only drink at night at events. Noon if the day feels crazy may be the new event. Not all the time and it’s not a filler, but I feel like my wine glass is a lot full. I felt guilty because I am like I’m not on the front line and I am home and have the ability to work at home, so all this wine and chill moments seem selfish. However, if wine is it and I am home and safe, there’s nothing wrong with it.

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School Days

I like to have my kids start schoolwork at 9 and are done by 3pm. It takes that long by the time you add in breaks, lunch, snacks, and outdoor time. Most parents opt to be their kids’ home schoolteacher but here we are in 2020 doing it. I don’t run it like a traditional classroom. I play music, allow my kids sensory times while they work on their class work. Here in Philadelphia the public schools are literally a few days ago of just getting their class work. My kids are in private school and have worked every workday through without a break. I look forward to them having a few days off while I work next week for Easter Break. Its different for them so I try not to have the same mindset about if they do extra things, but my time limit is 3pm. Anything beyond that I can’t, nor do I want to handle or have on my plate. I want them to get the work done and so far with the way we have been going they are crushing it.

Relaxing the Rules

Where I wouldn’t allow my kids to ride their scooters in the house, I have space in my basement for them to do so. So, I am bending the rules that keep them safe but also speak to them getting through of this at the same time. If I allow them an extra hour of up time and if they wake up the next day to get to work on school, its fine with me. If I allow them an hour or so more of screen time, I am okay with that as well. It doing what works for our house and that’s the only thing that I am interested in. I was sick yesterday and I literally had to have them do only the computer work so I could rest because anything else where I had to sit up to help wouldn’t have had gone done at all. My husband is here and doing his part with them and together we split whatever needs to be done down the middle. I usually opt to be more diplomatic in the tasks, but he does his share.

Quarantine isn’t Normal

Life is different. If you find you can’t talk to some folks as often as you would like, its okay. There are days where my productivity is so high, I can get a week’s worth of tasks done and the next I can barely get work that is required to be done. This is not a normal part of life to be quarantined. With, whatever you do to get you through, do that. We must stop pushing our ways onto everyone. Every house is struggling with their level of needs and we must give suggestions and let people work around their own lives. With. You may have other questions about mental health, emotional health or how to just thrive during this time, please email me at toitimeblog@gmail.com and I will do my best to get the answers to you. I know there are a lot of folks hurting or anxious and I don’t see that changing any time soon. I love you and send peace to your situations and your home.

Toi’s Tips for Survival

Here are my suggestions that I do that works for ME that you might find value:

I keep a journal on me, and I use it often to write out my frustrations before I spew that on those in my house. We have a lot of stress on so many levels that I don’t have to add onto others.

Take more breaks-this could be watching a show, set a time to zone out, etc.

Drink water to flush out your system especially if you are drinking more alcohol so you balance

Try not to sleep with the television on especially with the news channels

Also, here in Philadelphia, our mayor does 1pm live updates, I don’t watch them I catch the recap of the printed version

Eat a balanced meal as much as you can. We all have quarantine snacks, but we need to do our best to eat as well as we can without overeating. I know this is hard but again this is something that I do so that I am not overly frustrated after this is over

Sleep has been off so I will be placing myself on a sleep schedule also known as go to bed. Turn off the phones

Also use your mute ability on your phones to mute people who text and call with the most. I am not interested in hearing conspiracy theories that don’t consider that real people are dying. If your theory isn’t going to help the problem its another ploy to help increase negative energy.

With social media I try to limit going into any accounts that don’t align with what I stand on in my real life. I don’t go into Instagram Live of the accounts that I don’t usually interact with and the reason is everyone is going Live now and its too much. Also, I limit my social media time.

If you can work out at least 2-3 days. I am not going to be running as much and if I do not with anyone but myself. I can’t chance it with my kids and their asthma etc. but I have increased working out so I can use it as a stress reliever.

If you are with a partner and practice safe sex measures this is not the time to be in the spirit of withholding. This I don’t feel like it must be better managed. Sexual frustrations need to be worked out. Good sex is good for your health.

If and when someone asks me how I am doing I am totally transparent. I do not do the whole I am okay wording. I am honest. If I feel stressed, I say it. This is not the time to keep decorum. It’s a time to be bold to those you are safe and since I am home, I can be honest. I also have friends who are single and not quarantined with anyone who I am their honest person so that they have someone to talk to that won’t judge them. Its important to be that for others.

I also try not to complain about my portion. Where I am married, there’s a single woman or man wishing for what I have. I appreciate what I have.

For couples wanting kids to get on their nerves, I appreciate my children.

For the folks that have friends that they can call, I appreciate it more.

For the job and the ability to partner with companies that are still paying me, I appreciate it.

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Date Night

Its hard to have some time to ourselves as a couple. I feel like the time to us is barely there. Going out on blog events and taking time to get facials, going out shopping, etc. is how I used to find my me time outside of the house. Now me time looks like reading magazines and masks every few days that my esthetician has recommended to keep my skin on balance until I can get in with her. So, for date nights we kind of bond over shows. We have discussions about things not associated with COVID-19. We check in more with how the real day has gone. We are living in the time where all the decompression is happening inside of the home now. That takes a lot of love and commitment. In 3 weeks, we have had one argument and that’s a blessing when some couples are struggling to find inner peace with one another.