ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Well it’s a beautiful thing in the blogging world to connect with so many people.  One of my newest connections has been with Alanda.  She is the blogger of CocoaMommy.  She has been featured on the blog before, please check her out at Cocoa Mommy:

How to make time for yourself.  You can also check out her new webpage at www.cocoamommy.com Trust me its real treat.  So of course she would be someone to interview for Women History Month.  Now ladies, you know how conscience we are about our bodies.  Take a moment and picture yourself in the mirror.  Whats the first thing we do?

We point out every negative part of us that we see.  We notice things that don’t always even have to be mentioned. What happens as you get older?  As you mature you begin to either get a new level of confidence or you wallow in the same self-pity over your body image.  Well let’s see what Ms. Alanda of CococaMommy has to say about this:

Cocoamommy and Changing through the Years

In my thirties, I remember hearing life starts at 40.  When I turned  40 I spent a few relaxing days in Miami, kid-free and spouse-free.   Shortly after turning 40 I was separated and moving forward with my divorce. I will say turning 40 gives you a more a renewed sense of self!   There is an overwhelming feeling of power to define who you are and what you want on your terms.

Yes,  aging happens and guess what it can be the best journey!   The most important  thing I can do is to take care of my temple!  I always joke that I will work out well into my 80s.   The physical and mental boost you received from making fitness a part of your daily regimen is immeasurable.   Aging is a fact of life but how we choose to embrace it is what matters the most

As I reflect on Women’s History Month, and my thoughts on being a woman I shift to my 9 yo daughter.  My daughter is my biggest critic and/or fan.   She is the one who gives me a thumbs up or thumbs down on everything outfits, makeup, hair, clothing, body, etc. The list goes on and on and on!  It is like living with my own personal fashion police, 24/7!  

Cocoamommy and Aging

My daughter is the one who points out my disrespectful gray hair and that mommy pouch that never seems to completely disappear.   You know what?   I take it in stride but there are days when I want to seal her LIPS with a key!

One day my daughter she said, “mom I think you’re the oldest mom out of my classmates.” In my mind, I was thinking here we go again. She literally acts like I’m ready for an assisted living facility.    I gave her my usual very, very extended side eye!   Then she follows up with “mom you’re really slimming down from working out” In my mind I’m doing two snaps in the air and walking my imaginary runway!

Now at the tender age of 46, I feel age is truly a number.   Your mental outlook is what dictates the overall aging process!    I remember my daughter pointing out my stretch marks and my response was sharply followed up with YES, you and your Brother DID THIS!

While in the back of my mind the( snarky section) I am thinking how this child should get married and have four sets of stretch marks!!!!!!  Only so she can appreciate!

I DIGRESS.

As a woman, I have learned to appreciate my stretch marks as they are symbolic of being a giver of life!  Why be hard on me about something that is a part of nature?     One lesson my daughter has taught me is to embrace every inch of what makes me! Beauty in every inch!

I feel as women we are way too hard on ourselves.   When I told a colleague I was planning to wear a two piece at the beach, her comment was “don’t you have stretch marks?” and my response was “yes,  and?”   In celebration of all the beauty, we possess even when we are not feeling it, ponder on these thoughts!

WHY I  NO LONGER CARE ABOUT STRETCH MARKS?

  1. I am a mom who gave birth to two healthy children who continue to stretch my mental capacity beyond measure.   While this is 110% TRUE, I need to still make it a ritual to take time for ME! by keeping my mind and body intact.
  2.  After 45, I no longer sweat the small stuff!    No,  seriously in the big scheme of things.  Is this what people will remember? Absolutely not.   I hope to inspire those around me and surround myself with those who inspire me!
  3. The exterior of the temple may fade however taking care of the interior has phenomenal benefits that can’t be measured or compared!
  4. Being comfortable in your own skin is the only way to embrace who you are!
  5. Loving me really means loving every inch of who I amand that includes my stretch marks

We don’t have to wait until we are in our 40’s to get this confident.  To be honest, age is just a number.  It’s up to you to embrace your body at each phase of your life.  If you take care of yourself you too can feel and look good.

No more Comparison

Stop comparing yourself to every person you come into contact with.  I remember many times when I had my first daughter and I didn’t have the full face of makeup and fresh from the salon hair do that I immediately would lose it as soon as I saw another well together mom.  The difference between me and the other mom is she got up and did more than I was willing to do.  I can speak from personal experiences on how I would have lazy moments but expected to be runway ready.

How Sway how? Even if you’re not a mom, as a woman its something to be able to see that confidence almost ooze out of you.  It’s more sexy than any skirt, dress, or heel you may wear.  Ladies, lets embrace ourselves.  The stretch marks and flaws aren’t going anywhere but you do only have this one life to live.  As CocoaMommy said, will any of that matter in the large scheme of things?

Perspective!

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