ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So I ran into a guy or  I should say technically he ran into me.  He apologized and I said no problem and went on my way.  So a few days later after our initial encounter, I saw him again.  He asked me my name and all that jazz.  He notices my ring finger.  He asked me if I was married and I’m like yes. He asked me if I was happily married.  I said yes.  Now in the back of my mind I’m thinking that for argumentative purposes even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t tell him that I wasn’t.  I answered him with a smile that I was happily married.

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He says well I wonder if your husband feels the same.  I gave my normal smart remark you would have to ask him response.  I don’t know what his angle was and it didn’t matter.  I wasn’t about to indulge a stranger into the personal workings of my marriage.  He said to me that he needed me to know that when a man is happy he does the little things.  He said when a man is happy in their marriage he will still communicate and work for the marriage and want to grow.  I asked him finally because he was just seemingly into what I had or didn’t have going on, what his point was.  He said he lost his wife to cancer and before she became ill he had started to mess with other women.  He said that he didn’t cheat on her he just entertained other women.  He stopped calling his wife or texting his wife in the day.  He was hanging out with his friends and doing things that single men do when they were out. He didn’t send flowers, or love notes.  He didn’t do those things anymore because he was getting all worked up over women who appeared to dress better or appealed to his sexual side.

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His point in telling me was in his words that if I am in a happy marriage, all of those things would be happening.  He said that men are simple beings.  He said that women make it hard.  The only way to know if your husband is into you is to check his actions versus what he says.  I said well I’m sorry for your lost.  He said so am I. “I wish I had built more of a foundation” instead of dogging her out, he said.  He said she fell ill and quick.  He didn’t have a chance to tell her he was sorry because at the time he didn’t want to upset her in her last days.  He said that he didn’t have time to make things right.  Cherish the moments you have with your significant other.  However be clear when your husband won’t step up. Bring it to his attention and if that doesn’t work continue doing the things you are supposed to do. Hopefully it won’t take losing the best thing they ever had to recognize their faults.  He said he’s writing a book about what he had done.  I wished him well.  He said that he tells married couples this when he sees them all the time.  He feels like it’s his mission.  Who am I to judge that?  I wish him well I don’t have any expectations to see that man or encounter him.  I pray that if you are in love that his words did have some merit so take his advice.

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