ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

So in 2018 and 2019 I used to a Friday recap. I have decided to change the name to Friday Check in. The reason is super simple. We don’t do enough checking in on our strong friends. I want to encourage you to call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and see how they are doing. Do NOT text them or message them on social media. Actually do a call in to them to see how they are doing.

These are some next level conversations starters to help you. When you ask how they are doing, listen to their response. Ask a follow up question so you can move away from “ok” responses to really asking about them. Talk to them somewhere you can give them your attention and be free from distraction. Really listen to them. Ask them what their goals are the month or week. Again this moves away from responses of “ok” “I’m good” because underneath those quick responses could be someone who may need a listening ear. I had a friend that I spoke to about a few weeks ago. I asked her how she was doing and she said she was struggling. I didn’t leave it at that level of answering I asked her why and what could she change that might bring perspective. That level of questioning allowed her space to feel safe enough to open up and she stated she felt better.

We have to do more than allow our friends to simply be at the level that we interact with on social media. They deserve more. As much as people complain that life is all about social media, doing a check in is one way we can take that complaint and turn it into a meaningful change. Small change leads to greatness. If one person checks in with a friend it would make the world a little better one person at a time. Trust me. 

Personal Check In

Along with a check in I will give my suggestions on what I think you could do for your weekend to feed your soul, mind, body and spirit. We have to find ways in order to make us stronger from the inside out. Here is how you can do that?

Mind

How many books have you started to read this year? Yes I am aware that we are only in week one but the reality is that if we ask this often, we can increase the books that we read. Also do you journal? I am in a journal challenge with several of my friends to help increase our writing. It will helps us in our spiritual journeys and offer a place for us to be able to clear our heads a bit as a self-care helper along the way. Writing it on paper releases things inside of us that we can work through. 

Body

Get active. I know its cold here at least, but get out. I run on Sundays with a group of women. You might be giving me major side eye on running in the cold. However you can go to the gym or turn your living room into a free gym and get moving. Start out with dedicated 30 minutes of activity. Also you can watch your favorite television show or make a bomb playlist and you won’t even realize you were moving. Getting active does more for our minds than just our waistlines. You do realize Summer bodies are created in the Winter. 

Soul

This is a personal journey for you. Some like to go to their house or place of worship. I know some who reference podcasts from their favorite spiritual leader. This is not my place to judge. I do encourage you to be consistent. You can’t get right without consistency. It doesn’t have to be stuffy. 

Soul

This is hard. It takes a lot of work to peel away some of the things that have been pulling at your heart. A soul cleansing is raw and in a lot of ways painful. I find ways to forgive during soul searches. I find ways to reflect where I am wrong. You see the main word choice-I! You have to do the work. I am simply the vessel encouraging you to do the work.

So on this Friday this is my Check in Moments. There will be more trust me and I will even reveal my check in highs and lows. Make sure you check in with a friend. I don’t want to hear about lack of time either-I run my blog like a full time business, wife, mom, I keep a clean home and cook some bomb meals and I still find time to check in with friends. 

To my friends, answer your damn phone I’m calling.

I love for all of my work to be shared (properly) but I would love this message to be lifted the most. Let’s check in with others and show love along the way. 

 

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