ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

We change in marriage. We think we won’t but we do. We are ever learning about ourselves in the midst of change in marriage. Today’s question is what have we learned about ourselves since being married..

He Said…

What I learned about myself in marriage is the desire to change history and be in a family with a stable home (ie mother and father in the home) and provide that for my children since I didn’t have that. In that desire to provide that I put more emphasis on being an amazing father and not enough on being an amazing husband. What I didn’t realize that I have to make sure that I put time to my marriage in order to create the stable home. What I’m learning now is to put the same energy that I give my children to my marriage to continue an environment for both!

She Said..

I learned that it’s ok to have fun in marriage. It took so much for me to go back to the fun that we had in the very beginning trying to make sure I had the perfect food cooked, kids cleaned, and dotting every I. That was so stressful and causing me to lose focus on what mattered. So as to the T that I felt I needed to be, knowing that sometimes it’s ok to go take a nap and things would get done later was just as great! Knowing I can take on too much and be unwilling or too scared to admit I needed help had to drop.

So we were both trying too hard in one area but not enough in other areas and now learning everyday the balance to keep our own personal fuel, couple fuel, and family fuel is always a tug of war! I definitely think we are getting better at it for this stage of life!

Hoping you are learning and getting something from this series!

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