ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Black women

Love comes in many forms. Having a preference is not the issue. Being rude to a specific any thing whether race, hair, etc. is wrong. Unless you live under a rock it’s no secret that R&B singer, Tyrese Gibson has been making some not so good waves lately.  He has recently gotten married and with his marriage has come some back lash.  He wants the world to know his wife is 46% Black. First let me say that when a person gets married they don’t own ANYONE an explanation as to why they choose who they choose. Let’s get that out in the air right now.

Black women

Even if that person is the worst person for their entire life, no one can stop or is owed a reason.  We really need to let grown folks be grown.  Even if its your child and you don’t like the person they marry, you have to at some point let it go.  People have a will and a will to love is included in that.

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Tyrese and his 46% Black wife….

Tyrese has been said most likely to marry a white women or to have been expected to marry white because he has a hatred for black women.  I don’t see it as a hatred for Black women.  I see that he being a man in this world is being able to be loose with his lips because of this whole “man’s world ego.”  I think if we would have legally married a unicorn it wouldn’t have bothered me not one bit.  However his comments about what women wear and do with their bodies and hair is not sitting well with me.  The reason is men can say all day that they love natural looking women but then publicly praise all of the Instagram models.

Black women

Natural or Enhanced be a Good Human Black or Not

No offense to the models but its hard out here for natural looking women.  Now what I mean by natural looking women has nothing to do with the natural hair vs relaxed hair argument at all.  It has to do with the women who weren’t blessed to find “sponsors” who keep them laced in the finest, have a team of people who follow them around for make up and hair, etc.  The everyday women who has to get it where she fits is who I am talking about.  The struggle to balance life and be flawless is a bit much.

Black women

Be You at All Times

I don’t wear heels and tight dresses everyday.  My life isn’t set up that way.  I am flawless on my own terms.  There is always room for improvement but it shouldn’t be for a man who will in return change this perspective of what should be in a few more fickle seconds either.

You Humble or you just like Kendrick Lamar’s line?

To uplift one set of women you don’t have to put down another set of women.  Which is why I say kudos to the women who have it like that to be able to be flawless every minute of the day that they are awake.  For the regular women please stop aspiring to be like what you see.  However its going to take men shouting out more than a verse on Kendrick Lamar’s “Humble” song to make me think more.

Everyone out here shouting out how they love tiger stripes but go home and give their own tiger stripped woman a look of disgust but then spend more online time pumping up the ones with the photoshopped booty.  I am not saying you can’t admire the photo shop but don’t act all of a sudden interested in the regular tiger stripped women who you don’t even blink twice at them, won’t look twice at them, and pay them no types of mind.

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Get on the do betta…

I do blame some of this mess with Tyrese on the public.  We are so super consumed in celebrities that some of them are feeling the need to tell the world and justify their actions to us and for what?  We all trying to make it.  If I was Tyrese I would have married and let folks speculate.  But no, no we all had to contribute to this need of overshare. Tyrese, your 46% wife is your issue.  My issue is that you needed to tell us as if any of us have a Heaven or Hell to put either one of you in.  We don’t and quite frankly I hope she good with all of the posting because I would be quite embarrassed.

Marry with Purpose

I would want to know if you married me for me than what is the point.  You owe no fan base anything.  Your life, do you.  Just stop giving women advice that no one asked.  Your wrote your book and that time is done.  Unless you have women lining up asking you questions, than become a life couch and leave it at that.  Women don’t need advice and especially when you haven’t learned the art and finesse of speaking to a woman.  I don’t get it but women praise Tyrese.

wedding ring

Let’s be clear there are million other Tyrese’s.  Stop giving these men the airways to speak on us.  Stop giving them the action.  Use your voice to speak against it.  We have daughters that are going to have it much worst than us.  If men are calling us bitches and hoes now what you think they are going to be doing worst when my daughters are able to even understand it all.

Raising Daughters to love their Black Skin

I am teaching my daughters to be strong and confident.  They need to learn how to weed other people’s voices and learn to trust themselves.  I want them to know what they like, who they like and not take down because someone else doesn’t like what they have on and how sexy they appear to be. Their thigh gaps and what accessories they wear will only enhance what they have on the inside.  Our bodies weren’t meant to attract everyone but the one who is for them.

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Imma need all the ones who love their tiger stripes to stand up.  Don’t just sing the praises of them because it’s an in thing to do. Most of our mammas got the same tiger stripes and we won’t even buy them a card for Mother’s day. Our wives have tiger stripes and you ONLY wait for an anniversary and Valentine’s day to show appreciation.  Our daughters will have tiger stripes but you already telling her and showing her she won’t be enough.  Get it all the way together. Leave it to Kendrick and the real men who know what it’s about in this game call mature adulting.

No matter what color or race you are, be you. Don’t let anyone break you. Black women you are beautiful this rant by Tyrese is a distraction.

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