ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Ladies, ladies, ladies, this is one of those questions that if you are expecting a bundle of joy you semi welcome.  Not when you step on the scale at the doctors and they tell you lost a total of 12 pounds and you been working hard to get it right is that question ever okay.

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For me unless it’s a woman who I know for sure is pregnant I don’t ask.  I consider it to be rude.  I don’t know what the struggle of that woman may be going through.  She could have gained weight and is struggling to conceive.  She could not want kids at all.  Another woman’s uterus is not my concern.  So today I am grabbing a few snacks and that is the question I am faced with.  IF you ever been around me you know my face speaks before my mouth does and I am sure that I gave the questioning woman the grizzly.  I said I have a son he’s 5.  She attempted to look off.  I said my youngest is 2 and I am working hard to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.  She looked off because she and I both know she looks dumb as hell right now. My issue with her is she sees me daily.  Did I get pregnant overnight? You just saw me and said I looked trim yesterday in my outfit but today I am pregnant?

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I ain’t even gonna front, I was humiliated and hurt.  Like WTF?!  Yeah I said it and I am sure you ladies who have been on the receiving end of that said it too.  Like wait I will have to wait until I am Instagram model ready to be considered snatched.  I am doing this on my own with the help of my gym and doctor.  I have no personal chef but have switched up my eating habits and choices.  I have no personal trainer either but I don’t let up and make sure I am consistent.  Even now typing I feel like I have to justify my size when actuality I have climbed out from where I was to where I am now.  I am more confident but even with confidence dripping off of me I wanted to crawl into a hole at the moment she wanted to know if I was having a boy.  Do you get what she was asking me.  Not only am I pregnant but I look pregnant enough for someone to guess the sex of this imaginary baby?! Oh Sweet Jesus what in the world?  I haven’t been a size 2 since my days at Penn State.  I have 3 kids all from c-section and no multiple births.  I am a healthy size 10 and I am okay with that.

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I really need some people to think before you speak.  Pushing things on folks that do not exist can really set them back.  Let’s be clear we all have our things we need to work on so let’s be more gentle with others around us.

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