ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

stress

Moms really are the best multi-taskers there are.  When I was going back into the working world after being a stay at home mom for almost 3 years I would be asked what skills did I obtain during my break? I would always highlight what a day would be like without getting too personal with potential employers.  End of day moms are expected to do it all but there are moments when we have to let the bottom fall.

 

Let it Fall Mom

Yes I said it, judge me but you have to allow some things to hit the ground.  As much as every mom has an imaginary S on their chest, the reality is that we are human.  We will forget, we aren’t always available, and some times we are just incapable.  We are strong but we aren’t statues.  So when is it time to let some things go?

Here is my list:

  1. Yes you will always be mommy, but when grown kids get grown or even when they are teenagers and “get grown” sometimes the hands off approach is more beneficial. There are many times when you can assist but any assistance that stops a grown person from being what they need to be needs to stop.  If you stop paying their grown rent, they will be forced to get a job.  If you stop rescuing them out of ALL their stresses they will grow up and deal.
  2. When your personal health is in jeopardy, please stop.  I have kept going even when I was sick.  Let’s face it moms don’t always have a supply of folks to call because they are ill that will come to their rescue.  So when you are down, and can get help, get it. You don’t have anything to prove. Learn to say NO and don’t let mom guilt get to you!
  3. When it’s something where you are going to uphold them in their wrong. It’s one thing to agree with your child grown or not but we all know right from wrong.  If you find yourself in a situation where being their mom means putting up with their wrong, abort.  You can love your child but not love the things they do, get into, or the people they associate with.  Learn that valuable lesson and step back.
  4. When the lesson for your child is more important than your ego.  Sometimes as mom we want to do it all so much we forget that everything we do is a lesson.  So if the lesson is going to better improve the child grown or not, than let it be.  Don’t let your I just want to get it done go over the lesson.

Raise Them for the World

One of the things my own mother has taught me is that we need to raise our children for the world.  Meaning there are a lot of things we want from our children that are sometimes for selfish reasons.  We see our kids being disrespectful and we think it’s cute so we don’t correct it.

The issue is later down the road they continue with the bad behavior and someone else now has to deal with your little precious and they aren’t all that precious to anyone outside of you.

Mom’s Job is Never Done

A mom’s job is never always as clean-cut as we would like but you have to create balance with ourselves and our family.  There are so many over worked moms that don’t have the means to cut out all of the stress.  I am a firm believer that where you can cut, please cut!! It’s worth it! You are worth it! Your children are worth it!

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