ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Happy Monday! Today is a new day and a start of a new week. With that in mind it’s imperative that we count the blessings of the weekend and take that good energy with us. Today we are talking about not pleasing everyone. Somewhere someone is going to be upset.

People Pleasing Has To Stop

In life every now and again you may find that you take on people pleasing. It’s not a healthy way to live. You find yourself doing the most for folks who do the least. It’s a take relationship that depletes energy and even talent too. Either way it’s not a great mind space to be in. When you grasp the concept that you’re people pleasing and find healthy ways to place boundary someone is going to be upset.

Internal Healing

Isn’t it interesting when you start to set boundaries that outside influences get deep in their feelings. Now you aren’t available enough. When you were on call the same people talked about you too. You have to set boundaries. You have to be able to do what’s best for you above anyone. I don’t know of any individual who is above your mental or emotional health.

Party of One

We do a lot for others. I believe in helping those around you. I also acknowledge that you have to use wisdom. Sometimes it’s okay to be a party of one. As much as you love people they aren’t designed to be on your plane for everything. I’ve seen couples get mad when one person doesn’t do the work of the other individual. Healing can be collaborative but most times they take individual work. Others can support you but they can’t do it for you. We have to stop making other people responsible for our internal issues.

Upset the Crowd

If it comes to your internal healing or someone getting upset-upset the crowd! Listen we only have one life to live and it’s to be used making a crowd of folks happy. I love those in my circle. However if I had to choose me over them I would choose me every time. Why? I’m responsible for myself like they are of them. People will only do but so much. I’m willing to do what’s best for me. As I do what’s best for me those who align will stay. The others will leave and it’s hurtful but necessary. When you get older you don’t have time to carry dead weight.

Replacing the Players

When someone doesn’t have a replacement for you or at least want to apply closure they will hold onto you tight. However as soon as they are ready to move on doing so won’t be hard. So when you see like they told us in church “the doors opening” let it! Let the spirit lead others where they need to be. Let people do and go where their flowers can be watered. Stop trying to beg someone to stay. Push guilt on them to stay! Make them feel bad because they want to go! I get there is time invested but time is up!

Cut the Ties

Sometimes we need to start our week by recognizing that some ties have to be cut. There are moments when your own internal healing has outgrown situations, jobs, people, or circumstances. When you set out to do your work people around you will be upset. They may not like the new you. You will be called a sell out, uppity and that your high minded. End of day what’s more important to you? People pleasing and not being truly fulfilled or being the best version of yourself? That answer to that question will determine your next move!

This Monday let’s focus a little more on our inner work and less on others gravitating towards us. A lot of the ones you’re hoping will remain will be replaced with better. Don’t you want to know what it’s like to have loyalty and true joy in the crowds you are around? Let’s make some changes to how we move with people. We can be our best self and have great people around us during the journey too. We don’t have to compromise ourselves for others! Let’s keep accountability at the forefront of our lives!

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