ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

Welcome one and all.  I hope this blog finds you in good spirits.  I wanted to touch on a topic that in one point in your life you have or will deal with.  This area is self acceptance. Did you know that you will not be liked by all?  Did you know that if you were a puppet and did all that someone who was controlling the strings of your life directed it still wouldn’t be enough.

Who holds your strings?  Who is making the decisions that affect your day to day.  Think about that for a minute.  We allow so many people a vote in our lives and willingly hand them over the strings and then get mad and hit our chest in our “grownness.”  You are grown when you realize you don’t need to put on airs, shows, or do flips to please no one. We are so conditioned to believe that we need approval from others.  You do not.  You will find a sense of peace when you get to the place where you can walk on your own.  Is approval nice?  Most definitely but its not necessary.  If the ones you seek approval from don’t pay your bills, or hold your breath in their hands than let it go.

When I was in college I would lie about my whereabouts, what I was doing, and definitely who I was with because I wanted my parents approval.  The issue is that any that deviated from what they taught me wasn’t going to get me the right hand of fellowship.  So where did that leave me?  I could have either complied or been prepared for any fall out that would have created.  It took me some time to understand that.  Even after I graduated and no longer needed their support, I still struggled.  I think it was when I was pregnant with my first child that I started to get it.  My theory to this day is that other than my husband and my parents secondary I owe no one else my acceptance.  I literally will not adjust myself for a bunch of folks that won’t even matter at the end of the day.  Think about who you allow to hold you back which really is you holding you back.  Who do you give power when you are making a decision, want to step out, ready for change?

You know no matter what you do there will be an issue.  You could want to save lives and there will be someone whispering about who you think you are saving others.  How sad.  I think in the last few years I’ve walked in my growness.  I know who I am, what I want to do, and the direction I am headed.  After the trials I’ve been in the last 5 years and almost dying in child birth, there’s not many I will allow to hold the strings of my life.  I have respect for all.  Let’s be clear.  Respect to me means that I am okay with others governing their lives the way they want and I will do the same.  I don’t need to be popular vote to be okay.  I do not need the right hand of fellowship from everyone.  I am a solid individual that is really making her own moves in her own way.

Don’t get to be grown and still give the strings and reigns to others for no reason.  Half of the folks wanting the strings don’t even hold their own strings in proper order.  I was taught from the best that most folks worrying about what someone else is doing don’t usually have their own lives in order.  You know why, when you are doing what you need to do, you have genuine care for others and not just waiting for the next tea pot to be brewed. You have a life and you are walking in truth.  Take some mental scissors today and cut it.  I cant tell you how freeing it is to be okay in your skin. It’s one of the most satisfying things ever.  You haven’t lived until you live for the audience of one.  You don’t have to cut yourself off from people but that doesn’t mean you can’t cut your life from folks that cause you issues. Anyone who isn’t for you, you don’t need them.  It would be like drinking toxic water and knowing its bad for you but having a choice to get better water and not drinking it.  Drink the better water.  You are the better water.  What you have to give the world is better water.  Cut the strings!

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