Therapy Check In-Good, Bad, and Indifferent

Therapy is such a beautiful tool. I enjoy having someone impartial to bounce my thoughts on. Someone who tells me the truth no matter where I am in the journey.  My therapist wants the best for me but not in the way where he will influence the decisions I make. So here’s a little recap for those wanting to get therapy. It’s a process and it’s nothing like the movies.

Personal Cognitive Dissonance and Therapy

This therapist is one who got under my skin about the 3rd therapy appointment. Honestly. He’s the second male therapist but the first one that called me out on my own personal cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is that uneasy feeling when your thoughts, beliefs, or actions don’t align. It’s the mental discomfort that comes from holding two conflicting ideas at the same time or behaving in a way that contradicts your values.

For example, if you strongly believe in healthy living but frequently skip workouts or eat foods that don’t support your health goals, you might feel cognitive dissonance. Your brain recognizes the mismatch, and that tension pushes you to either adjust your behavior or rationalize it—maybe by telling yourself, “I’ll start tomorrow” or “One indulgence won’t hurt.” It’s a powerful psychological phenomenon because it drives people to change, justify, or ignore inconsistencies to restore balance.

So when I went into therapy it was the mindset of this is happening but I made excuses for what I knew the truth was.

Setting Boundaries

This was hard but needful. No I didn’t need to set boundaries with my therapist. He was and is professional. Some of the boundaries I needed to set he helped me work them out. For instance with family and friends learning that the boundaries needed to be without having their input in it. For instance I took many of the folks off of my socials. If you remember I wrote a blog about setting boundaries in real life. It does help to do this but it doesn’t mean you can’t have apprehensions. The pain surrounding certain relationships I have been finally able to say yes I was hurt. Ever deflect pain as just anger?

I was actually hurt. The pain wasn’t something I could put into categories. Being consumed by anger when it is the pain and disappointment of others is something.

Why is therapy feel so overwhelming?

Therapy can feel overwhelming because it requires vulnerability, self-reflection, and sometimes confronting emotions or experiences that have been tucked away. It’s not just about talking—it’s about doing the work, and that can be exhausting.For many people, opening up to someone—especially about deeply personal struggles—can feel daunting. There’s also the pressure to “fix” things quickly, even though healing is a process that takes time. Therapy can challenge old thought patterns and bring up emotions that might feel uncomfortable at first, and that’s completely normal.

Another layer is the fear of the unknown. Not knowing what to expect, wondering if therapy will actually help, or even worrying about how a therapist might perceive you can add to the stress. And let’s be real—therapy is a commitment, both emotionally and financially, which can add to the weight of it all.
But at its core, therapy is about support, growth, and giving yourself space to process life’s ups and downs. Feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean it’s not working—it means you’re stretching and growing in ways that might be uncomfortable now but beneficial in the long run.

Emotions after Therapy

There have been times when I fall immediately asleep. Between a few tears, sorting my thoughts, and more I felt overwhelmed. That feeling would leave me so raw. So immediately after therapy I went to sleep. No changing of clothes. Just pure exhaustion. Some of it was having a full day. More than more times it would be just processing. There were times I couldn’t even sleep in the bed next to my husband. Not just cause he may have been the topic of the day. I just needed space. Ever see your part in your own misery finally make it to the big screen of your heart? Therapy will do that for you and to you.

So what is the Big Deal?

If I was feeling bad at times after therapy, what was and is the benefit to it? Peace. At the beginning of February 2024 I had really come to the end of the rope on a lot of things. Functioning in a space but also ready to tear it all down is not a great space to be in. But that work when I look back at it is how I am able to show up in my spaces now. I can look those in the eye and for some say nothing. Just make moves in silent. The others I can put my foot down and let them know that this is the end. So since February my relationships have shifted. However my responses to it has changed.

So therapy is work. It is not glamorous. The things that come up during your sessions can make you feel overwhelmed. Take it in. Do the work. Stay the course. Shout out to my therapist for pushing me when I pushed back with the intensity that was necessary. Now if this week I break then I know the breakdown is for the best.