ToiTime

Mental Wellness and Self Care Queen

There are so many things going on.  Look on the “What’s Coming Up” section on this site for all of the month observances.  With the shocking Las Vegas shooting that took place October 2, 2017 it is more important for us to develop some sense of emotional health and wellness.

Emotional Wellness

Emotional health doesn’t always mean that your life is in order.  Most times it may be the exact opposite.  However in order to have your wits about you, you have to take time to get your emotions in check in order to proceed with your goals.  So how does one get their emotional wellness in order?  Here are a few ideas on how to maintain good emotional health:

  1. Know what your triggers are.  Triggers are things that automatically send you into a tail spin.  These triggers can come from loved ones, yourself, or strangers.  They are words that are said, vibes that are given, and actions that take place that make gets you all kinds of upset or off your game.  Know them and try your hardest to avoid them.
  2. Watch your company.  Sometimes its in our company that we end up finding ourselves in the worst situations.  Not everyone means you well.  Once you realize this it will not always be easy but it will be necessary to make sure that you weed out those who no longer serve the bigger picture in making sure you are healthy from the inside out.
  3. Watch how you talk?  Did you know that you can speak things into your life without even knowing it?  It’s true there is power in your tongue so be careful how you speak to yourself, you are listening. This morning I had the cutest outfit but because swelly belly came out today I was thinking oh no I look ugly, fat, etc I had to change how I felt and speak the correct words.  I do not need all of that negativity to follow me throughout the day.
  4. Say no-this is powerful.  The two letters in NO can make people back off and up.  If you are asked to do something that you will complain about later, than don’t do it.  It’s like someone asked you for a ride but you don’t want to.  You give them the ride in the thought of being nice, but others around you has to hear about how you didn’t want to, how they didn’t give gas, etc.  Saying no will not harm you or them. They will find another way.  You do not need to be the one who does everything for everyone.
  5. Take a time out-I say this with every self-care, self-love piece that I write but its true.  You need a time out to regroup and gather your thoughts.  There is something that will enlighten you when you learn to take some time to yourself.  This doesn’t mean it will be an entire day but if you can take it.  Sometimes it may be a few moments.  It reminds me of the times I have to lock my bathroom door to prevent my kids from just walking in.  Sometimes I am in there having a snack I don’t want to share, saying a do not kill prayer, or just reading a magazine without interruption.  Take a break.
  6. Turn off electronics.  I love my phone and laptop, but there are times I have to say no and not even engage.  The way social media works, it can bombard you at a moment’s notice.  A social media tune out is necessary to connect with others or those around you.

Getting Outside Help

Your emotional health is just as important as your mental and physical health.  Having hurt and pain follow you and yet you are doing nothing about it makes no sense.  Tap out so you can tap in.  Go see a psychiatrist if you need it.

Go speak to an unbiased 3rd party if you need it.  Deal with past hurt and pain so you and the people in your present and future won’t have to deal with what you won’t heal.  Confront some things.  Sometimes we think things are no big deal but I know for experience, bottled pain is the worst pain.

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Relationships and Emotional Wellness

I had a friend recently share about her failing marriage and the concept of loving safely.  People think that because your life from the outside looks perfect and you have things that you are in a lovingly safe environment. That could be furthest from the truth. Many hide from emotional abuse and do not speak up for themselves.

God forbid if you are being financially abused on top of that and this is why so many stay in situations because they see no way out.  Please make sure that you are loving safely.  Loving safely no matter who you are with, or what your life looks like.  Deal to heal.

So be about your emotional well-being and wellness. No one else will do it for you! Get the help that you need when you find you’re not doing well. Reach out but learn yourself so you can learn your triggers!!

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